Hiya all! Lucy here for another Pathetic PETA Power Pwn. I thought I made a review of their last game, Pokemon Black and Blue, but I just can't seem to find it.
Now this game is yet another one of PETA's insane tropes to attack an established game series. And guess who else is being attacked? You guessed it! McDonalds! The fast food chain that is still the highest on the ranks despite various attacks against it, including the terrible excuse for a documentary, Supersize Me.
That aside, this game is very little in difference to it's last one. But PETA certainly let their bias show. The McDonalds customer looks like a fat brainless moron, and Ronald McDonald looks like a drunk Joker on crack and speed. Meanwhile, the PETA protesters are cute and adorable, down with the evil corporations! Or else PETA will toss red paint on you again!
This game is covered in blood from the evil McDonalds killing the poor dehorned and slashed Miltank and bitten and starved Jiggly Puff. The message is the same, we animal owners are just mean pathetic slave-holders who are holding the sentient animals hostage, starving them and yanking them around on our leashes.
I have thus came to the conclusion: PETA isn't batshit insane, they are complete and undeniable poes. It's all just an act. Because even insane asylum patients and Republicans are going "those people are crazy."
But I suggest you play it, the puns are terrible, and the gameplay sucks. But it'll give you a few laughs with your facepalms.
Ok, now you know there is always at least one in videogames. Not a hard boss, per se, but a boss that makes you want to nerdrage your controller right into your 80 dollar flat screen and scream F*CK THIS SH*T!!!
5. Normal Type gyms from Pokemon
Yes, the pokemon is almost dead, so close.... Trainer used Full Heal.
........ "Pikachu, Thunder on the Trainer"
I swear, any game that has bosses that heal a ton like this in game when they are almost dead annoy the fuck out of me. Just die already!!!
4. The Larvae Queen from Hammerwatch
This one is simply annoying. It gives you little chance to fully dodge, and gets to the point where it is nearly impossible to make it to her without sustaining damage! At least the other one's gave me a chance, this one has spikes at the entrance that kill you in one hit!
He laughs at you too..... LAUGHS! AAGGHH!
3. Moldorm from A Link to the Past
This is a very typical boss to add on these lists, but I cannot deny that he is annoying. This has got to be the first boss that truly made me nerdrage. They knocks you into pits, and his only weakspot is a tail you can barely hit. And when he is almost dead, he goes faster!!!
2. Death from Aria of Shadow
This boss made me stop playing for a couple days. I kept trying to kill it, but to no avail. You attack it, dodge, attack, stock up on potions, level up, cry a lot, and try to not break everything. This boss is a tough piece of work. And it's level is far beyond that of every other boss battle. I got to it by level 18 without issue. I was level 35 when I finally beat him.
1. The T-rex from Tomb Raider
This motherf-ker made me almost break my computer screen. Once you figure out what to do, it is easier. But when it doesn't work properly, you just want to shoot the d-mn dino in the face rip off it's skin with your bare hands. Like in Pokemon, when you just want to grab the ball and force it closed to prevent the Pokemon from escaping.
There are some games, like SolatoRobo, which is a game designated for the DS, but uses none of the features of the DS. This is not uncommon either, as fairly many games have started this trend. But why?
It seems to me like a way of earning more money for a game, without using any of the features that the console has for it. It's a cheap and petty way to earn more money for a game that could be so much better, or so much different, with the stylus.
Zelda used all the possible features that the DS had to offer
Pokemon and Zelda are games that incorporated the touch-screen very well, and through that had some pretty unique gameplay. In Zelda's case, the stylus-based movements are what paved for way for the Wii's motion controls. It bettered the games and made it fun, and dangerous all at the same time (*swings Wii-mote and shatters brand new flatscreen TV*).
But if a game is going to be made without any real use for the second screen at all, then why allow it to be published on the DS, and not, say, the PSP, or the GBA? It would make more sense for a game like Castlevania Dawn of Sorrows to be made into a GBA game. Adding crappy implementation of the touch-screen is just as bad.
Okami is a game designed around this touch-screen concept, and would be a great addition to the DS, because it uses the touch-screen all the time! It is actually the main basis of the game. Why can't other games do that? And if you are not going to implement any groundbreaking touch-screen semantics to the gameplay, then why the DS at all?
Now these are not going to be the newest games on the market, most, if not all, of the games I will list are old. But in my experience there are fun to play, and are good for the person who loves adventure. I love RPG's the best and most of the best ones I have played yet, I played during my childhood.
1. The Sly Cooper Series
This one goes before the game I have played and beat hundreds of times simply because there is a thieving raccoon as the main character. Sly is not only cunning and fun to play as, but he is also funny. Pick pocking people never gets old as you save up enough money to purchase upgrades and such.
There are minor differences between the three in the series that I have played, but I personally love the second one the best, although the first one is a close second.
2. Zelda: A Link to the Past
Yep, you read the message above correctly, I have played and beat this game hundreds of times, found all of the heart pieces, and every possible secret I can discover about this game, including glitches. This is a game I have been addicted with ever since I was really little, and it is the first game I remember ever playing. It never gets boring with me as I travel around in 8-bit saving Hyrule.
From the SNES to the GBA there are a lot of minor tweaks to the gameplay and how certain dungeons look, but unless you are looking for them, you probably won't notice too much different. Also, the map is not a huge jumbled mess of colors and crap, so you actually find where your going! :-D
3. Final Fantasy X
Probably the most religious of games I have played. Although I did love running around, fighting monsters and allowing the troubled souls that turned into the monsters to travel back to heaven. I also loved being a summoner and murdering monsters with my summons. The only bad part of this game I have discovered, is that I have yet, to date, filled up the overly complicated, massive Sphere Grid.
But my favorite parts of the game are the temples, saving simple yet complicated puzzles in order to pass through the game is fun, IMO. And... the elemental flans. Something about those monsters interest the heck outta me. But Final Fantasy X is one of my inspirations to write fantasy stories. So even the annoying sphere grid can get away with it's annoyingness this one time. -__-
4. Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Most people who have played Zelda OoT can say that it is a very fun game (if you ignore that water temple). traveling around, saving Hyrule, the princess, the races, and the seven sages from the powers of the evil Ganon. The main story-line travels back and forth through time 7 years, changing Link from kid form, to adolescent form. There are a ton of side quests in this game that have always distracted me from rescuing Zelda.
I only collected all 100 of the gold skultulas once. And by the time you collect them, the prize you will get is basically pointless. And I have never needed to use all 4 bottles for anything, but the Gerudo Training Grounds are my favorite part of the game. What I really want to know, is how he gets that sword out of his sheath.
5. Breath of Fire 3
This is another of the games that I have played numerous times and have had since childhood. This game, like Zelda OoT, starts you off as a child with no parents, and later on your transform into an adult. As a member of the brood (dragon people) you have to save the world by killing the equivalent of God. This game also has a ton of diversity in the lines of furries, magic princesses, talking onions, dragon people, and smart cannon wielding scholars.
There really isn't apart of this game that I don't like. But one sidequest I enjoyed a lot is the Fairy Village. You help a village of fairies build their town and survive. And it is very helpful in the future, when you need items.
6. Atelier Iris Series
Nothing makes my mind delve deep into the world of fantasy and magic than alchemy. Creating new items, making a pact with mana, and extracting elements, what could there be not to like about a game like this? The exquisitely made world (different in each game) has plenty to offer up as you travel to many places covered in elemental mana powers, and create friends with beast people, mages, and artificial life forms.
You can even create items while in battle, something I think is awesome! If you run out of healing potions, you can make one on the spot! Sounds kinda like cheating TBO... 7. Final Fantasy XII
You start off as an orphan, go figure, and wind up saving the land from destruction from an evil king who is set to backstab everybody. Going from place to place, from ancient runes to a hidden forest village. Traveling from magical crystal, to airship, and making the old turn-based battle sequence look slower than dirt.
My favorite part of this game is running around the plains, collecting sun energy and storing them in rocks. Nothing makes buying a new stronger weapon feel better than hard work selling energy crystals.
Speaking of which, like FFX, there is also a form of sphere grid you have to fill, something I have yet to do on this game either.
8. Zelda: Twlight Princess
Instead of changing from kid to adult, you now change from adult to wolf! This game seems very similar to A Link To The Past in where you stop the evil Zant from turning the light world into the twilight world, changing back and forth between the two, and even changing your shape while in the world of twilight. But, in the end, there is a girl who falls in love with link, but has to leave forever.
Playing this game on the Wii, and swinging the control with the fear of breaking something valuable, like a vase, or an eye, is what made this game fun! The ending is rather depressing though.
9. Metal Gear Solid 1
What was that noise?
My favorite Metal Gear has to be this one. I don't know why, but this one seems to have a better gameplay, and storyline than the other ones I have played, in my opinion. This multi-disc game made snooping around and killing people extremely fun to do! You know, back when you can have a CD get scratched and STILL be able to play it on the gaming system?
I have learned never to hide in air vents when being chased by security, unless a grenade to the face is what you enjoy.
10. Pokemon...
You played one, you've played them all. But there is still an addictive aspect about catching pokemon, and training them to beat gym leaders. But although the storyline slightly changes, that is basically all that ever does. But I still don't know why I keep playing them! Their fun! But why?!?!?
I can never collect all the pokemon in the game, and I refuse to use a game shark.
Nothing makes you feel better than watching a movie for the second time! This time with a better appreciation of the story, plot, and characters!
I <3 Lucario! He is just the coolest pokemon I have ever seen, so this movie has earned itself a high rating just for that! His batman voice was slightly annoying, but I guess beggers can't be choosers.
The storyline about the past and of a pokemon that lived a thousand years beforehand trying to figure out why his “master” trapped him in a staff is an eye catcher. I will not tell you the whole thing, but pikachu is taken to this “tree” by mew and ash goes to find his friend. Ash and Lucario's master, sir Aaron has the same aura. Go figure. It seems like anything that can go wrong during ash's lifetime does go wrong, and ash is always the one to save it. What a rotten time to be alive, and the chosen one.
The ending kinda threw me off, if it takes an aura master years to learn how to use aura, than it puzzles me how ash was able to use it on a whim like that and never knew of it before, nor ever uses it later. But the ending was also really adorable at the same time (crying Lucario, awwwww!).
I also didn't know mew had the ability to transform into other Pokemon O.o But hey, screw the rules! They have money!
The storyline and everything else made the movie deserve a 7 out of 10, but since it has Lucario in it, I give it a 8 out of 10! It didn't make me stand on edge, nor did it have any truly shocking points, but that's Pokemon for you.
Some games will just never get old in my eyes... you know, the games you played as a kid... over... and over again?
Here is a list of someone of MY timeless classics and why!
1. Zelda: A Link to the Past. I played this game as a kid, and it actually helped teach me to read. I know its 2D pixelated graphics are no match for your Halo's graphics, but for me, it takes the cake! I mean, its fun as hell!
2. Sly Cooper. Now who can resist the urge to pilfer peoples pockets? Or is that just my fantasy of being a thief? Best part of all, you do all of this as a FURRY! and RACCOON furry to be exact! My fave! Human characters are sooooo 5 minutes ago!
3. Final fantasy X. This only one of them that I was fully hooked on. Not saying that the others weren't good, but this and 12 were the best! Going around beating up poor defenseless beings that are just waking around trying to kill you... they drop money, so that's a plus! I grew up playing the 4th one for the PS1, you know, ancient technology...
4. Atelier Iris. Alchemy and magic, mixed with a final-fantasy like RPG format. What could be better? You get to make your potions so you save money too. You also have a girl with wings on your party...
5. Breath of fire. And who can forget this classic? Mostly the third one, which had me addicted since I was a wee lass. You turn into a dragon!!! AND you have a princess with wings on your party, who can ask for more? Best of all, The sequels have at least the two main characters, Nina and Ryu... unlike Final Fantasy who changes their characters with every new game.
6. Pokemon. Who can resist catching em all? I mean, this whole games purpose is to enforce animal fighting, and level up your pokemon and fight some more. But it is so ADDICTING!!!
