Graal Online Classic Review

If you took Zelda A Link to the Past, eliminated the storyline, gave it the worst controls ever, made it an MMORPG, and allowed friendly fire, you have Graal Online Classic.  It's kinda like if Ragnarok Online and Zelda ALTTP had a bastard child and named him Graal. It doesn't help that basically all the sprites on here are simply recolors of the original sprites.

The idea seems decent. You pick your character and then make your way through the tutorial, and then through the world to.... uhhhh... do typical MMORPH stuff. Like quests, purchasing houses and houseware, and buying new outfits and headgear. You get a ton of pop-up messages when you just start the game. It happens every time to do anything for the first 5 minutes of the game and it is really frustrating. "Congrats! You opened the menu" I KNOW!

It does seem to have one redeeming quality, at least in the Android version:

ERMAGERD! I'm a motherferken RERKERN!!!!!

There really isn't much to do in this game. There is a decent amount to explore, I guess. But it just seems to be lacking in various different elements that would have otherwise made this game a very enjoyable experience. Although I can't really say that to it's hundreds of thousands of fans.

For a free game it works ok. Even in the PC version, where I can play using Joy2Key, the controlls are better, but the game play is lacking in several areas. Including the fact that you cannot be a raccoon in the PC version of the game

Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past Review: Part 2

Hello all! This is a continuation of my first installment, which can be read here.

The GBA version made several changes to it so that it'd be easier. You know, cause videogame players are IDIOTS! In the SNES version, when you get an item, you then have to search for ammunition or magic so you can use it, not in the GBA version. You get full magic or ammunition the moment you get the item. You know, because handicaps are obviously needed for this game.

Plus, you get to keep the shovel.... which you can use again later in the game for... nothing. Besides one or two spots that holds rupee's, there is nothing you need the shovel for. That is why, in the SNES version, the flute replaces the shovel. Hammers can now destroy rocks and bushes. The save screen in the SNES version made you quit every time you saved, the GBA allows you to save and continue. In fact, there are numerous changes from the old version to the new version, many of which are redundant and pointless.

When you are getting the Zora flippers, no one ever tells you how to get them. In fact, you don't even really need to get them before the second level in the dark world. And they cost 500 fucking rupee's! Why do Zora's sell flippers anyhow? They don't need them! But on well, Zelda Logic.

On the subject of tunics, the one's in ALTTP are not half bad, given their only ability is to heighten your defense. There is the green tunic, the red tunic, and the blue tunic... always the same tunic's.

This game actually had some secrets even I did not know, and that gives it an air of mystery along with the review. There is a sprite in the game coding for an enemy that ever appears in the game. Called the Cannon Soldier.  He has full AI, graphics, attacks, and recoil. But sadly, he never made it into the game.

Now back to the review. The heart pieces are relatively easy to hard to find, depending on where you look. Many are simply placed behind a wall that has a crack in it. Some areas of the map are made specifically with this in mind. Like the hole in the clump of bushes in the forest, and the well in Kakoriko Village. This game allows for a bit of exploration, but for the most part, there is very little to find outside of heart pieces by exploring. Besides the flute.

This game does not hold death properly! Your uncle dies, and so does the king, but... maybe not. Maybe they just passed out... or got held prisoner... outside of the fact that the game's own dialog is either a death scene, or you are told the king was "eliminated." But at the end, what happens? Everyone is alive again! Yay!

I will end off with one irksome thing, the title. A Link to the Past. A Link to the... Past? This game does not incorporate time travel! You go through the light in dark worlds like Twilight Princess and their Twilight World! The game makes you think that it has something to do with the past or future, and that's simply not true.

This game is awesome! It got me playing for days and days, and the levels are pretty fun to go through. I think I will always be a fan of this game, despite the irks. It will always be my favorite game ever.

What do you think?

Ittle Dew review

Hello all. I am Alex Turner, or more commonly known as Inuyuru, a contributor for Not Another Review Blog. This will be my first ever post, so please be gentle sempai. (That wasn't in bad taste right?) Moving on.

Ittle Dew is an adventure-RPG-omg available on Steam, the earthly embodiment of Jesus for pc gamers. You play as Ittle, a spunky, adventure seeking girl garbed in green, accompanied by Tippsie a drunken dog fairy, who is also maybe a woman, who gives you tips in the form of telling you how fucking stupid you are. It's like A Link to the Past as seen through the eyes of Robert DeNiro circa Taxi Driver. You find yourself on an island after drifting on a raft for what seems like days and instead of finding help, you grab a stick and raid a castle, so basically standard vidja game lore.

The story is pretty good in the sense that it's supposed to be ironic. You find a castle, you go inside, you make fun of stuff, you find some chests. All the while trying to find a way off the island, which some smelly pirate will give you if you find something in the castle, possibly wood. The chemistry between Ittle and absolutely ANYONE she comes across, is amazing. Even the monsters she comes across have a snark prepared for them, and watching the interaction between Ittle Wittle and the Tipper is hilarious, if a little grating sometimes. The dialogue is drenched in so much irony, you can put it on a plate and make it pass for a fancy dinner that makes fun of you as you eat it.

The gameplay for Mountain Dew is as I said, very similar to Link tootie Pass, a game I very much enjoy, and you enjoyed that, you're going to fall in love with Little Moo, faster than Van Gogh and anyone in direct proportion to how many ears he had left, compared to how many he was willing to cut off. Basically what I'm saying is, it's great. It's a heavily toned down version of  Link Cables for a Gameboy, in the sense that it gives you siginificantly less items. You only get 4, and you have to go to completely separate dungeons to get them AND you have to locate the chests with the money to buy from the store to get the opportunity to - wWAAAH!

Sometimes it's a bit frustrating. There are some puzzles based around how fast you can solve them and as I said, the game isn't above mocking your dumb ass, for not being very very clever. There are times where I got angry at Littlest Pet Shop, but anger is a motivator. I'd slam the enter key and yell my way through dungeons like a boss.

The art and animation is very well done, and lovely, and quite fitting for a game of this caliber. All in all, this is a great game and worth every penny. There's a lot to complain about, but the pros out weigh the cons. If you buy anything from Steam and want to scratch that adventure itch, Little Bear is the game for you.