Lucy's Latest Addiction: Rogue Legacy

It took almost half my health to get this screenshot, you better be fucking grateful

OH. MY. GOD! Rogue Legacy is so much like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night in so many ways that it just isn't  funny. You start off choosing your character. Each character has some array of disorder about them. Be it gigantism, dwarfism, the inability to cast spells properly, knocking enemies back further, or being knocked back further yourself, etc, etc, etc.

On top of that, you have several different classes, from paladin, to knave, to mage, etc. Each class has different strengths and weaknesses. Mages have less HP and higher Mana, Shinobi's are powerful and fast, and Spelunki's are not all too powerful, but allow you to get 3 more gold per gold coin and allows you to see where every chest and mystery is on the map before you reach the room.

Haters gonna hate

 Now, you can offset these weaknesses with a high enough power boost from the Manor, which is a place where you can unlock new classes, raise attack power, defense, Mana, HP, critical chance, etc. And if that wasn't enough, you can also find blueprints in the castle to upgrade your armor and weapons, and not just blueprints, but runes as well to heighten the upgrades and give specified abilities. Weapons and armor raises your magic, attack, and armor, etc, and may also come with secondary abilities, like increased gold gain. You can also attach runes as well, which can give you abilities such as double jump (SOTN), side dash (SOTN), vampirism (heals a small amount per enemy), and increased gold gain. These can even be stacked. You can have multiple jumps, or higher vamprism.

You start off in the first room, which has some candles and a chair which you can destroy and find gold and food under. This game has no save points, and trust me, you WILL die. A LOT. Dying is not only inevitable, but necessary for progress. You only level up and are able to spend your money when you die. Once you go into the castle, there is no turning back. In fact, dying 20 times gets you an achievement in Steam. This game also has no healing areas. If you don't have vamprism, your only hope is you smash a pot that may possibly have chicken in it.

Money is a commodity, each time you enter the castle, the Charon will take away all of your money. Although later on you can lower this to 50% of your money, you almost always start off broke. My advice, break EVERYTHING. And kill EVERYTHING.

Might be a little addicted to Rogue Legacy . Just a little

Each room as enemies and objects to destroy. From mages that shoot fire and ice at you, to giant suits of armor, and zombies, and skeletons that shoot arrows or throw bones at you (as I said, a lot like SOTN) Each room is a mystery, and can hold treasures and monsters, and the castle is ALWAYS altering every time you die. So each new life is basically a whole new castle. A dazzling place you never knew.

The objective is to defeat 4 main bosses and open the final door. I only got to beat 2 of the bosses thus far. There are also minibosses you can beat for extra treasures. once you beat a boss, you never have to beat it again, although you can unlock a much harder version of that boss later on.

EDIT:

Just hours after this post:

Oh yeah

Melody's Escape

Hiya folks, Lucy here! Sorry for the long wait between this and the last review, I have been very lazy with my review writing lately, and now I've decided to get back to the writings. at least for a few reviews. The life of a writer is never done.

Now this game reminds me a lot of what I believe would happen if Guitar Hero turned into a platformer. You play as this girl, who's name I would assume is Melody, and you are trying to get from one place to another. This game has no storyline or anything, it is basically just a platformer.

But get this, you pick the music that the levels are based off of. Your level, what buttons you push, and for how long you push them, is determined entirely by your music selection. If you wanted to play this game to Lady Gaga, you can do it! Heaven Metal? You can do it! Justin Beiber? Possible... but... ew.

There are three levels. Relaxed allows you to easily beat levels, but not too easily, the rhythm isn't perfect, so you gonna mess up, a lot. When you first start out, I suggest at least 2 songs on Relaxed. Then Normal is a lot harder. You have to push the right button, at the right time, and it is highly altered. Then you have extreme, which is basically a "your fucked" difficulty.

Besides this, there really isn't much else about the game. You can play it with a controller, and because I choose it, the music selection is wonderful!

I definitely recommend this game. Now hop to the buying! You can get it on Steam for 10$.

Magicka Review

This game, despite what I initially thought, is not that much like Hammerwatch. It's has humor, characters from other well-known games, and you get to shock and burn villagers to death with no repercussions.

You have these spells, and you are able to mix and match to form different spells. From an attack with a single element to an attack with multiple elements. You can make fire lightening, and Healing fire, which heals you and burn you at the same time! You can charge your attacks and use them on others, or you can use them on yourself. You can murder yourself with a giant boulder if you are not careful. I have... done that twice now... And if you want to use no spells, you can use your staff to blast back enemies, OR you can use your mutherfukin gun!

You are a wizard, simply a wizard. no other classes, but you can change your robe type and robe color. It is 100% co-op compatible, and you can play in many different ways, from adventure, to saving other wizards trapped in a castle, to versus mode. Up to 4 people can play at one time.

You use your spells to help get through parts that will otherwise kill you. Like freezing water, and burning torches. This way, this game is a lot more puzzle based, and allows for at least a mild amount of thinking. You can't yet use your controller to play though, so it's entirely keyboard and mouse for now.

It's pretty awesome ^^ albeit a little (bad pun incoming) cheesy. The humor can be pretty bad at points, and the fact that Navi from OoT is following you around yelling Hey! Listen! every minute spouting useless information, it does have it's moments. But all-in-all. It's a pretty awesome game!

Papers please review

In Soviet Russia, game plays you. This and many other words including, but not limited to "Fuck", is how one would describe Papers Please.

Staplers Please is an indie game available on Steam made by some Russian guys rushing to make an extremely Russian game about a man rushing to save his family, rushing through his job making decisions in a rush. In Russia.\

Here is a picture of Rush

A friend of mine asked me what I would classify this game as. I almost said "Puzzle" but that would make me a liar. Really I'd can't call it any genre. There's terrorism and explosions, suicide bombers, human traficking rings, drug peddlers, corrupt businessmen, so I could call it an adventure right? Well, as exciting as this sounds, it's all going on in the background and has little to almost nothing to do with you directly. You basically sit at the border gate and read passports and either accept or deny people like some kind of existential deity with a depressing life. 

The best way to describe it is a paperwork em up. But you can also have family members die if you don't pay for food or medicine or to not be blown up by a terrorist. So a depression em up? 

Despite what I said, Eat Your Peas is quite the immersive game. The paperwork and checking for discrepencies and sending them to their deaths to look after you and yours leaves you with a sense of guilt that keeps you coming back for more, because you like that, don't you bitch?

I highly recommend The Seven Seas, because not only is it immersive and the gameplay makes you feel like Sherlock Holmes, the story going on around you is very interesting, full of intrigue and mystery and lots and lots of prostitution. Like Russia itself. (Not racist)

Chantelise Review

This is the first ever game I really got into on Steam. I didn't think it was going to be all too good, but I was wrong.

You start off the story as a young girl named Elise, with her sister/partner named Chante.... Chante Elise... Chantelise. Despite the fact that the name of this game is...mediocre at best... I cannot deny that this game's name is in fact catchy. You are trying to find a witch because she apparently turned your sister into a fairy. That's basically the whole premise of the game, find this witch, and have her change Chante back to normal.

You have a blade, and your partner has magic. This game is a hack and slash game that allows you to use many skills to your advantage. But while this game is awesome, it is not an adventure game. It is very linear and the only secrets are hidden in every single room. The gameplay is pretty smooth, and the controls are easy enough to grasp.


The enemies when you first start out are very easy, and drop a lot of magic and gold. But as you get farther, the enemies get much, much harder, and many become hard to defeat without a particular type of magic. If you can lure an enemy off a ledge to it's death, the better off you'll be.

You can defeat enemies easier, and defend yourself more against magical or physical attacks, by equipping certain items. Many of which you can buy from the store, while others you can find in hidden chests along the way. This game has a LOT of room for error. When you die (and you WILL die), you keep all your money, so you can spend it on new armor and health upgrades. Which will make it so that you ca travel further before you die the next time.

All-in-all, this game is pretty appealing, and highly addictive. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to play a more casual game.

Final Fantasy 7 on Steam is BULLSHIT!

I bought the game, thinking that all I had to do was download and play the game. But nope. I get sent to this pop-up screen where I either have to sign into my Facebook or my Square Enix account just to play the damn game I ALREADY downloaded for Steam! And to make matters worse, it is not accepting my Facebook account! So I have to make a whole account at Square Enix just to play the damn game!

I was going to return it, because I had no clue that I would have to go through all this just to play the damn game, but lo and behold, Steam has No Return Policy. Fuck.

I played this game as a kid, and I like the fact that all I had to do then to play the game was plop in a disc and go. Idk what the issue is with all of this pointless account creation just for one game, thing.

I love the game. I'll review it once I played it some more, but the whole act of actually getting to be able to play it is nonsense.