The Purge

Sucks. No need to sugar-coat it. Everything from the stupidity to the lack of conclusion sucked. This review is going to be chalk full of spoilers, FULL of spoilers.

1. Good guys always win
2. Stereotypes galore!
3. lack of conclusion
4. Too fast
5. Good points


1. Cops and Robbers

Good guys always win, you know that, I know that, we all know that. But just about everyone gets out without a single scratch, and even the homeless guy had minimal wounds. And the good guys, who were going to toss the nameless homeless man onto the streets to be killed like cattle to save their own asses, changed their tune in about 20 seconds, and grew a conscious. And instead think they can fight off an entire crime syndicate.Of course, they succeed. They kill off many of the people without sustaining a single cut.

The enemies were also reckless, careless, and for a crime syndicate, didn't know how to use weapons. Piggy-back rides, skipping, and smashing their way through the house is not the best way to make sure you kill them before they kill you. And for a crime syndicate who had reinforcements, it was rather small, 15 people at max. And lets not forget that everyone but the crime syndicate knows how to aim perfectly with a gun, including the daughter.

Also, saying that humans are an aggressive race, and allowing the purge to release pent up aggression and crime rates will drop significantly and the economy will become better, is stupid. Crime won't stop just because you allow everyone a free pass one day a year. And the only reason the economy would get better, is because you're killing off everyone without money.

2. Stereotypes

Now what do I mean? Well, lets start off with the Typical American Family. Stay at home mom, successful working father, a smart son who tinkers with technology, and an emotional rebellious daughter. Husband, wife, son, daughter, father is the breadwinner. Cliche'. Oh right, also, family drama, even more cliche'.

You also have the jealous neighbors, the skeptical child, and to make stereotype 10 times worse, the rich white families son providing sanctuary to the homeless poor black guy, who is running away from the white-dominant "purge" crime syndicate. Just listing that as a fact, make of it what you will.

3. There was an ending?

The neighbors come in to kill them, the husbands already dead from a knife-wound inflicted by the main bad guy who was killed off far too easily. The homeless guy who still has no name saves them. they keep the remaining neighbors alive and then kicks them out of their home, and the nameless homeless man just walks away without another word.

What was the conclusion? What changed? The movie revolved around the morality of the Purge, and nothing changed about it by the end of the movie. What happened after the fact? Did any of them die the next year? Was the homeless guy OK? Did he keep in touch with the family he didn't know, that was going to toss him out to the dogs, and that he risked his life to save? Does the boy blame himself for his fathers death? What the fuck? Make an ending that isn't half-assed!
4. Slow down!

This is one of those movies where everything kinda just... happened. No explanation, nothing. All crime is legal, including murder. And they made an effort to include murder in that disclaimer. certain weapons are restricted (How? Are the police going to come and arrest you if your gun is unauthorized for murdering people?). And you are NOT allowed to kill certain government personnel (ok, this sounds realistic). If it slowed down a bit, and not sucked as much, it would have been a much better movie.

5. What about the good?

The movie did have some good parts to it. The plot was great. The story about a society where the government condones crime for a 12 hour period in order to reduce crime and strengthen the economy is a great story! And someone who actually has skill with writing stories like this should write a good storyline to go with it.

All in all, I'd give this movie a 2 out of 10. It was pretty bad.

What are your opinions? Write them in the comments below!

The Last Unicorn Movie Review (spoilers)

I hate to say it, but I honestly thought I would like this movie much more. But all it really seemed to do was baffle me. This movie has most likely not been seen by many people and I only found out about it via a random chance occurring on YouTube.




The bad guys were ugly as usual, and there was a tripping scene where the human-unicorn almost dies, but nothing says old animated movie like cliche's do.

Lets see... oh right, I liked the movie because it was unique. But there were a lot of plot holes and everything happens so fast without any reason for them. I really did not understand why anything was happening, and there really wasn't any dramatic moments, or romantic moments outside of one song about love, and even then there isn't a single kissing scene. I can actually tell why this video was forgotten.

The voices are also not that great, the prince really can't sing well, and since this is an actual movie and not a YouTube video, I believe it should have been better.

I guess the only real big plus in here is that it has a unicorn in it. And it mentions narwhals in passing! I like magic but the spells in stuff in here really did not catch my interest.

But watch it and see how much you like it. but I will give it a 4/10

(Spoiler alert from here onward, summery of video)


It starts off as a bunch of hunters are searching for food, and found that (upon assumption) that the forest must belong to a unicorn and thus they would not be able to hunt, therefore they leave the forest and go elsewhere. The unicorn becomes confused because the hunters said that she was the last one. She talks to a butterfly that can only quote things it has heard and learns that the unicorns are being held by a red bull. The unicorn runs off to search for this red bull and gets captured by a magic-wielding circus group. One of the magician free's her and a harpie that kills everyone but the magician and the unicorn.  They set off down a road and the magician gets captured by a group of rouges who kidnap him for no reason and takes him to camp. He magic's his way out and meets up with the woman (who appears out of nowhere) at the camp who see's the unicorn and decides (for no reason at all) to go with them on their journey.

During their trip to this castle where the red bull lies they meet up with the red bull, who, although apparently cannot touch the unicorn can scare her into the castle, but before that can happen the wizard saves her by turning her into a human. In this shape they go up to the castle and asks to see the king, which he is able to do easily, and goes up to the kings broken down thrown room and easily gets jobs as the kings helpers.

Yadda yadda blah blah, she falls in love with the prince and almost turns completely human. now they find the unicorns in the sea and they are corned by the red bull, the magician turns the girl back into a unicorn, the prince dies failing to save her, and the unicorn fought back and drove off the red bull, something the other hundreds of unicorns could not do... the king falls of a cliff and dies, and his kingdom crumbles down. she revives the prince and goes to live in her forest, the prince goes on his own, and the women and the magician stay together. The end

Princess Mononoke Review

Best environmental movie I have seen yet! It starts off with this prince who fights off a demon but becomes cursed, the curse makes him exiled from his village so he goes to try to break the curse and find out why the demon appeared. He makes it to this iron smith town, and later finds out that this town has been driving the gods mad with it's destruction of the forests and mining of the mountains.

Learning this he tries to restore peace between men and nature, and teams up with a wolf-girl who hates all humans. All the animals are becoming enraged and strive to kill off the human race to return their forests to normal. The forest god of life and death plays a big role because later on he is beheaded, and in a blind rage to find it's head it destroys the forests, but rebuilds it once it's head returns.

There was not much I did not like about this movie. I watched it once beforehand, but was too young to really critique it then. one of my favorite parts is when he took his shirt off at the furnace to help work it. He is HOT! Another part about this movie I liked is the fact that women are in power and are treated with more respect, but that's also what I didn't like about it. They have too much power, and now treat the men like they are weak pitiful good-for-nothings. The main leader says that men "cannot be trusted," which brings a whole new level of sexism in this movie.

But I like the theme I got from this movie. That we should not destroy nature or one day it will come back to haunt us. The love story between the more neutral main character, and the extremist wolf girl I liked as well.

I would give this movie a 8.5 out of 10, I recommend it for all people. But be warned, there is a decaying boar carcass in here and the demons are covered and weird worm-like things.

Ponyo: Movie Review

Very nice kids show. But the whole plot line and climax confused me. Where do I even start?

Ponyo is the name of this weird fish that runs away from home for no apparent reason, and for no good reason falls in love with a human child who keeps her in a bucket of fresh-water. Ponyo is apparently narcoleptic, as she is very energetic, and then automatically falls asleep for no apparent reason. For some reason she really enjoys the human world, and like Ariel from the Little Mermaid, is obsessed with becoming a human.

But for some reason that never is explained, her wanting to be a human has upset the balance of nature, and it is up to Sosuke to love her as she is (a fish) to turn Ponyo into a full-fledged human. A lovely connection with Beauty and the Beast and Pinocchio at the same time.

Some reason you can create bubbles of water in the water. But hey, this movie has magic, so screw physics!

It was cute, but certainly not for an older audience. I honestly think this movie could have made a lot more sense, saying that the person who made this movie also made Kiki's Delivery Service and Howl's Moving Castle. There did not seem to really be much of a meaning for what was going on, and all this seems to take place in a full 48 hour time frame. Love develops fast.

I would actually give this movie a 3/10, it rarely kept me on edge and nothing really shocking happened. But recommend you watch it simply so you can form your own opinion of it.

Never Been Kissed Movie Review

I just watched this movie today, and I loved it! I can really get into the shoes of the main character, socially inept 25 year old Josie Geller, newspaper editor for the Chicago Times. I myself am a socially inept, weird, bookworm, the only real noticeable difference is that she wanted to live a normal life, to be a popular kid at school, to fit in with everyone else, and I do not have such desires for popularity. I found it sad that the school bullies were that mean to her, calling her names and attacking her in school, and even more so when she goes back to her school  as a under-cover reporter, pretending to be a high school senior to get a scoop for her newspaper or she will get fired.

I am glad that I have never had to go through such copious amounts of school bullying when I went through high school. I guess it was mainly because I never cared enough. I like how she knows seemingly useless information and portrays that in real life, sounds an awful lot like me. I cal also connect with her on the basis that I too, am an aspiring writer, partial journalist.

Of course, there is a lot of cliche in this movie, you always get the man at the end, and schools always have those cliques. In fact, I cannot even point out the popular kids in the lunch room at my school if I was paid to do so, neither the cool kids, the band geeks, the football team, the cheerleaders, the geeks, etc. Everyone looks the same eating to me. Lets not forget that in order for her to succeed in life she has to start being more fashionable. Michelangelo never bathed, changed his clothing, or did anything else of the like and he is famous today!

I really liked this movie though, the stuck-up popular kids, the nerds, the nobodies, and always that one guy, the most popular guy in school (who never existed in my high school), who seems to have eyes only for you (of course, the one in the movie really was not that hot), and the one guy that isn't as hot, but is the better match for you. It has a lot of different aspects in it. I personally recommend this movie to whoever wants to watch it, It was made in 1999, so I guess you should be able to download it online. I give it a 10/10, I am a sucker for love stories and dramas.