My Top 5 Free Videogames

Not Another "Top" List!!! T^T

Yup, another top list. I'll stop making them soon enough.... maybe. (Probably not.) But we all like videogames, right? We like free, right? Then I am sure you'll forgive me for this list. Here, I'll show you my top beloved free-to-play videogames.

5. Runescape - Free roaming MMO-RPG. You choose your character from a variety of different options, and go on a quest to raise your level. You can do this via the numerous quests, random surprises, or just roaming the map and killing enemies, mining, chopping wood, etc. There are a ton of ways to play, and you only pay f you want members access.

4. League of Legends - This is a very competitive game which you might not play for long if you don't like people yelling at you over how N00B you are. But you have a huge choice of characters which you can use to play with friends and fight against your opponents. You have to get to their base and destroy their main energy source before they destroy yours. It's fun... if you take away the 20-somethings throwing tempers like a 7 year old because you "aren't playing the game correctly." Also, you can pay for extra skins.

3. Path of Exile - This is a pretty fun game. You run around doing quests, trying to survive on this island of exiles. Fighting monsters and zombies, trying to just survive and get off the island. You can be a witch, an archer, a knight, etc.

2. Zenonia everything!!!! - Zenonia is a free-to-play game series for android devices. Granted you can pay real world money for upgrades to inventory, etc, but altogether these games are pretty fun! They storyline, character design and selection, gameplay, all make this the best Free-to-play game I have found as of yet on the android.

1. Legend of Princess, Iconoclasts... well, anything from Konjak - These games are pretty fun, and made as origional content from game developer Joakim Sandberg. Most of his work is free, but he does have some that is he is selling. His games are pretty friggen fun, and very nicely made.

Freebee Game Review: Legend of Princess

This game can be downloaded for free via Konjak.org. For a freely made game, it is fun as hell! As you may have figured out from the majority of my game reviews, I really love Hack-and-Slash kind of games. And this game, despite being extremely short, is a very awesome hack and slash game. It plays a lot like Castlevania, just faster.

You have three hearts, and you must go around, attacking enemies, and 3 bosses. One of which is the shadow version of you... go figure. This game is a lot like Zelda, if you were to make it have the best style of fighting ever. Despite your crazy awesome hack-and-slash sword motions, this game is still very challenging. Your score is the amount of rupee's you are able to get. It's fricken awesome ^_^

For those who didn't get enough of the challenge before, you can actually make it more challenging by using different items.

I recommend this game, and it's free, so get going!

Top 10 Videogame Cliche's that I Hate

Hey guys, Lucy here fir another list! I am starting to like making lists (don't kill me ><). Now we all have those Cliche's that we all really, really, hate. Whether it is because of pure annoyance or ragequit-material, we all have them, and here is my top 10 (in no particular order)

(c) TheModernDayLink via Deviantart

Everyone looks the same

No matter what game you are playing, the NPC's will look the same either in every game, or in every area. There is scarcely a difference between the jukebox guy from Zelda, the monsters from every Breath of Fire game, or games like Fable which many NPC's look like twins. Also, every protagonist is pale -___- I would love to play as some dark-skinned protagonist every once in awhile you know. Just because /I'm/ paler than cheesecake doesn't mean my main characters always have to be. At least we are seeing the rise of more strong female protagonists.

Giant Meteor caused 2000 Damage

This is seen even more clearly in FFVII during your boss fight with Sephiroth. He uses Supernova, which literally is seen in it's long-ass animation destroying Pluto and a very not-to-scale Jupiter, and going into the sun causing it to supernova, vaporizing Mercury and Venus in the process before reaching Earth. Guess what? You're still alive!!!

Dinosaurs

There are many games who can use this trope correctly. Like in Tourok, where dinos and monsters are literally the ONLY bad guys in the game! But many games kinda take this as a time to add extra sprites to their gameplay. For example? How about two? Final Fantasy, and Tomb Raider. Final Fantasy has the ability to create a large array of made up fantasy monsters, like they do in their colorful flan collection. Tomb Raider does this pointlessly. You are fighting random wolves one minute, then OMG a fucking T-rex! Out of nowhere, with no link to the plot whatsoever.

Because all castle dungeons have random
bottomless pits with no protective railing on them.

Bottomless pits and Spikes

Because we need for you to die in one way or another, and having it be irrational and random doesn't matter. I swear! What did the people who created 2000 year old castles dungeons and random people's houses think they were doing when they booby trapped the place? Creaky floor board? Nope, bottomless pit of horror!!!

I'm dead! Nope, Chuck Testa!

Fakeout death scenes. I remember being both happy and annoyed when I saw this in Atelier Iris. Arlin turns to stone and dies! Then later, you can get him back as if nothing happens. The same thing with the Kings death /and/ the death of your uncle in A Link to the Past. It's like death is too much to handle, so let's bring all the good guys back! Happy perfect cliche ending!

Long, repeated, unskippable cutscenes.

Ugh! That moment when you have to deal with an unskippable cutscene and you just want to burn the game. That even worse moment when you die and have to water it all over again.

I'm the hero!!! ... But I can't swim.

So many games do this. I know that in some games your lung capacity is really low and annoying, but at least you have a lung capacity, like in CaveStory or Zelda. Unlike most other games, where water is actually lava and you die when you walk into it. I swear, if you are too lazy to add swimming to your game, don't add water pits.

Invisible Walls

You really couldn't make some big foresty backdrop or something? Some rope to close me in perhaps? a glacier? Mountain? SOMETHING!? Have it loop around on itself for all I care! But when all that stops you from falling or getting past an area is an invisible wall, it shows that the game developers were simply too lazy to incorporate something meaningful to that space.

The Unneeded Damsel in Distress

In many instances, these characters don't need to be in distress. At all. Zelda, for instance, is a strong independant woman with knowledge, power, and ability. But you don't really see that when she is captured. God, why can't they make a game where Zelda kicks ass? I'd pay good money for a game like that. Nintendo, did you hear that?

They Bleed Pixels. And thanks to this ice, so do I!

ICE PHYSICS!!!!!

Holy fucking shit! No matter what game you play, if it has ice physics in it, that level is shit. It doesn't matter if you are talking about racing games, or Zelda games, uncontrollable sliding around is a bitch! This is even seen as a boobytrap in Recettear, and has to be the worst boobytrap in the entire game! I cringe when it occures. You cannot get traction, so it is hard to move, and when you do move, you can't stop!!!! Yeah, you can drown in water levels, but at least you won't slide into a hole!

What are your most hated cliche's?

My Top 6 Disney Reprises

Yeah, those little bits of song they add later on in the movie that originate from the original, more popular song. There are many of these that I just LOVE! But first, an honorable mention:

Mulan: Be a Man

This isn't technically a reprise, but it had to be listed at least as an honorable mention. If not anything else but for this exact scene. Now for the real list:

6. Pocahontas: Savages

This was the most dramatic point in the whole movie. And as Nostalgia Chick mentioned, they just bunched everything in it to make it seem more dramatic than it really is. It would have been higher on this list, but it just pales in comparison to the rest.

5. Alladin: Prince Ali

I liked this one a lot growing up, but mainly for the scene than the actual song. But aside from that, it is very well done, saying that Jafar took his song and made it cocky and arrogant.

4. Beauty and the Beast: Belle

This scene is actually not nostalgic for me, saying I didn't watch the movie until 2010. This was just one of those Disney movies we somehow bypassed. But I do love this reprise. The annoyance in her voice, the desire to be free and explore. She wants much more than this provincial life.

3. Aladdin: One Step Ahead

If only they looked closer. They'd see a pretty handsome, funny, sly young man. But nope, street rat! I like this song because it shows the life of Aladdin as a poor, starving protagonist and just as some Mary Sue thief. And yes, this is yet another listing for Aladdin. Personally was not my favorite Disney movie, but did have a few really good songs in it.

2. Tangled - Mother Knows Best

I reenacted this song for WEEKS after seeing it. The pure evil in this song as she is certain that her daughter will see it her way. Mother knows best, not Rapunzel. This should bring nostalgic feelings for anyone who questions their parents. Because we kids are just ignorant of what is actually happening in the world. Also, this movie is a lot better than the Barbie rendition, although I must admit that I believe this movie stole the whole painting idea from the Barbie version.

1. Frozen: For the First Time in Forever

This song is BEAUTIFUL! The emotion, the stress, the portrayal of information, all wonderfully done. Especially at the end, where the emotion just builds and builds until it literally explodes out, causing the final plot point for the movie. I love this song, and keep replaying it every now and then. The emotions are great!

What are your favorites? Mention them in the comments below!

Temple Grandin Movie Review

This movie was highly informative on the life of Temple Grandin and her work on cattle and animals through her autism. It's a biology of her life, that even Temple herself says portrays her almost exactly. 

She was always seen as a freak, and her accomplishments were frowned upon due to her interest in exotic and lesser known topics. She is fascinated in cattle and other herd animals, and she has a wonderful insight to the emotional lives of, and behavior of animals. She is thought to be not as good because she has a masters yet works at a cattle ranch. 

This movie is very relatable, and shows things very well through the eyes of Grandin herself. Her photographic memory, and her intense interests. It is very informative not just on a viewpoint about her life, but on a psychological viewpoint into the minds of animals as well. She bends and twists rules in order to work with cattle, which is fascinating to watch. 

The video itself is nicely made. The characters have a ton of personality, and Grandin really seems to suit the part. Even speaking similarly to the real deal. The music involved really seemed to fit the part as well. 

I personally really liked this movie. I don't see much wrong with it at all. It was very emotionally involved. I'd definitely recommend it to anybody who is interested in biographies, or animal psychology.

My Top 5 Most Annoying Bosses

Ok, now you know there is always at least one in videogames. Not a hard boss, per se, but a boss that makes you want to nerdrage your controller right into your 80 dollar flat screen and scream F*CK THIS SH*T!!!

5. Normal Type gyms from Pokemon

Yes, the pokemon is almost dead, so close.... Trainer used Full Heal.
........ "Pikachu, Thunder on the Trainer"

I swear, any game that has bosses that heal a ton like this in game when they are almost dead annoy the fuck out of me. Just die already!!!

4. The Larvae Queen from Hammerwatch

This one is simply annoying. It gives you little chance to fully dodge, and gets to the point where it is nearly impossible to make it to her without sustaining damage! At least the other one's gave me a chance, this one has spikes at the entrance that kill you in one hit!

He laughs at you too..... LAUGHS! AAGGHH!

3. Moldorm from A Link to the Past

This is a very typical boss to add on these lists, but I cannot deny that he is annoying. This has got to be the first boss that truly made me nerdrage. They knocks you into pits, and his only weakspot is a tail you can barely hit. And when he is almost dead, he goes faster!!!

2. Death from Aria of Shadow

This boss made me stop playing for a couple days. I kept trying to kill it, but to no avail. You attack it, dodge, attack, stock up on potions, level up, cry a lot, and try to not break everything. This boss is a tough piece of work. And it's level is far beyond that of every other boss battle. I got to it by level 18 without issue. I was level 35 when I finally beat him.

1. The T-rex from Tomb Raider

This motherf-ker made me almost break my computer screen. Once you figure out what to do, it is easier. But when it doesn't work properly, you just want to shoot the d-mn dino in the face rip off it's skin with your bare hands. Like in Pokemon, when you just want to grab the ball and force it closed to prevent the Pokemon from escaping.

Anodyne Review

It was very cheap, so I decided to get it. A Whopping 3 dollars. I downloaded it, played it for awhile, and all through the game just one thought permeated my thoughts:

What is this game about? Introversion? Paranoid Schizophrenia? What? This game is so random! The characters are weird and even have a merchant you cannot buy anything from. You carry around a broom instead of a sword. You get boss battles with bosses that call you Ying instead of Young, and that you need to get along with people, and "I hope you enjoyed your stay!" The ending of game is... I know he is exploring a "dream world" according to Wikipedia, but... but...

The gameplay is a lot... and I mean a LOT like Zelda. I love it because all you need are 7 buttons. Left, right, up, down, A, B, and Pause. You only get a few upgrades to your weapon... a broom, and jumping shoes. You attack bats often, and goo's, so almost exactly like Zelda, just with no equipment, and a LOT of savepoints and teleporters.

You can use dust as a boat, but aside from that, the levels are all vastly unique. You go from regular to 8 bit graphics, a black and white city, an underworld, and the basic mountain and forest, etc. Many of the levels have annoying platforming in them, making them nearly impossible.

All of the enemies and bosses are simple, and you scarcely need to dodge for the boss fights. You lost most of your health from the annoying platform jumps and boobytraps. This game only takes about 5 hours, and that is if you die often and get lost. But it only took them about 8 months to make this game, so I shouldn't expect much longer. Even if it is short

I would recommend this game, simply because it IS fun to play. You'll be confused as fuck, but it is fun as fuck if you enjoy Zelda-esque games.

6 more things you should never say to a gamer

6 more things you should never say to a gamer.

Hello all, it's Inuyuru again. I know it's been a while and I bet you're wondering where I've been.

...

Anyway let's start this list.

1) "It's not spamming, it's a combo"

Look here, asshole, just because the game says 10 hadokens plus a kick counts as an 11 hit combo, doesn't mean you aren't a cheap, punk bitch who's corner spamming all day long.


2) "Turning your controller doesn't really help you turn in the game"

You're a lying liar, and you're going to hell for lying.


3) "You're a gamer? I bet you don't get laid"

I think Lucy mentioned this before, but this simply isn't true. Sex isn't person specific, everyone has it, and I have it. A LOT. But enough about your mother.

But seriously, the stereotype that all gamers are mouth breathing nerds, is something drummed up by the douchebags and the media and for some reason this is widely accepted, albiet only by assholes. 

4) "You don't like (Insert name of a popular game here), you must have a terrible taste in games"

I get this a lot, seeing as how I hate black ops and anything like it, see CoD. And this is almost always countered by "Oh I guess you don't enjoy anything. That must suck"

I suppose it does, you'll have to tell me about it sometime. 

5) "It took you HOW long? I beat it in one try"

Shut

The fuck

Up. 

6) "But the graphics are fantastic!" 

If the graphics are good, that doesn't account for the game. Psychonauts is butt fuck ugly, but that's one of the greatest games I've ever played. 

CoD Ghosts looks nice, or at least I assume, if you can look past the brown, but it's the same bullshit you keep paying 50 bucks for. Good games and good graphics, rarely go hand in hand.

Inuyuru, ready for your hate. 

Disney's Frozen Movie Review (spoilers)

Yeah, I know I don't do movie reviews often, or really anything that isn't a game review, but I HAD to watch this movie! It was eating at my soul to watch it for days! And so I watched a pretty bad quality version of it online for free, blah, blah, rant.

This movie is very good. From the clips I have seen online, it is beautifully made. The ice graphics are very well done, and so are the characters, albeit they are a little... uhh... cliche. But hey, this is Disney, Cliche' comes with the package deal.

The portrayal of ice powers in this movie is wonderful! It is rare that I see ice powers being used in such a way in any genre, if it is really portrayed at all. Building an ice castle, freezing the land, ice staircase, all wonderful!

The movie does come off as overly cliche' though. Some parts are shocking, but also foreseeable. The prince in this movie backstabs her, as is obvious if anyone was watched movies ever that this was going to happen. But although it was obvious, it isn't portrayed in the movie. The Prince shows no signs of committing treason, yet he suddenly shifts gears. As with the end, Elsa tries for the whole damn movie to control her powers. She tries to contain them, but the more she feels emotions, the worse they get. And suddenly, at the end of the movie, she finally learns how to control her powers, via Love. Because love is the answer to everything.

Also, the village that once was shocked due to her magic, suddenly loves her dearly and without question at the end of the video, even to the point of publicly frolicking in her magical skating rink.

You think that Elsa becomes a bad guy in the movie, as is thought in the above music clip. But nope! Despite the fact that she transitions into someone who obviously looks the part of the bad guy, she has no clue that she is doing anything wrong, and actually left to shut herself away from society so she would not hurt anyone ever again. Why she has to alter her look, demeanor, and entire dress style into one suitable for a bad guy for this part is unknown.

Speaking of unknown, we also havn't a damn clue why she has powers in the first place, or why no one else in her family does. Her parents die early in the movie for some unknown reason, so they can't help much. In fact, they forced Elsa's sister Anna to forget that her sister ever had powers, and somehow this was supposed to play in the story plot. She didn't know whilst growing up, but she did find out as soon as it was revealed to everyone else, the memory loss associated with her sister's powers just seem trivial, if not pointless.

The music in this movie is pretty damn good, some songs are kinda meh, but at least the two mentioned above in the videos, they make the whole movie a whole lot better.

Oh, and there is also a lot of comic relief... a LOT of comic relief, probably too much comic relief.

I say this movie is definitely worth a watch, watch it and see for yourself

Does A Link Between Worlds Deserve a 10/10? (Spoilers)

This game received raving reviews. Many high-end critics gave it a 10/10, and called it the best Zelda game to come out for 13 years. I myself am a HUGE Zelda-geek and decided to get this game and try it out for myself. As a critic myself, I am likely to point out flaws in this game, and give it a score that I deem acceptable for such a game.

Is this game worthy of a 10/10? That's a pretty big standard to match up against. Especially when it's legacy, A Link to the Past, is almost always number 2 in most "Top Zelda games."

The Good:

This game does have many things that I do enjoy. The maps are very similar to the original A Link to the Past, but the levels are different, and feel new. Each one gives it's own array of challenges to the table, and although it is pretty simple, many of the levels are waaay too easy, and waay too short, but fun to navigate through. In fact, many of the puzzles are highly challenging, and were fun enough to figure out. The graphics, despite being childish for the character design, do an excellent work for the levels and towns in this game. Especially the dungeons, which have great effects and look about them. Also, the characters do have a lot of personality, which I like. Instead of most characters just doing drab replications, each one does have something unique that sets them apart from the other AI's.

You start off with the typical notion of link having a bad dream about the boss of the game. This is obviously a shout out to Ocarina of time. Actually, there are shout-outs of numerous previous Zelda titles in this one. Also, I love how many of the items in this game are used to new and interesting ways. Many puzzles cannot be completed unless you know to use your items outside of the typical format. Many things, like the Diving feature, actually do have a purpose in this game as opposed to simply a way to dodge attacks in ALTTP. You can dive down to obtain rupee's that you would otherwise not be able to obtain. And for what it's worth, the sword beam cuts a whole line of grass, like the magic boomerang did in the GBA version of ALTTP.

The music from the game is a wide selection of music that comes from both previous Zelda titles, as well as new music from this game. But most music that appears in this game is from a Link to the Past. Also, what I really love about this game, is that you can beat the dungeons in any order you see fit. There is no linear format. Beat them however you choose.

The Bad:

For a game constantly rated 10/10 by critics, it certainly has a LOT of issues.

The graphics are kinda childish, as if the game itself is trying to market itself to 6 year olds. But only in regards to the character models. I think they could have gone better with the characters, especially when they spent so much time on the beautiful level designs.

The save feature is annoying. It has to be one of the only Zelda games, apart from Majoras Mask, where you cannot just save wherever you please. Which although is annoying, and differs from the usual Zelda format, is not that much of an issue. But Ravio's shop can be. You have to rent items to get into and complete temples, instead of either buying some items, like you do in Links Awakening, or find them in the dungeon, like you do in every other game in the world. Although you do find some items inside levels, they

This is probably the last time you'll ever use that bow...

are mainly powerup items, like the Titan's Mitt. You do get to buy them later on, but it's kinda useless, as you never need the item after you've used it for a specific temple, useless you are using it for a specific cave randomly on the map. Also, the energy bar is kinda a cop out. Instead of running out of arrows, or bombs, etc, and have to find more, all you have to do is wait a few seconds for your energy bar to refill, which gets rid of a lot of the competitive aspects of this game.

My main issue so far is with the main villain, Yuga.

Red hair, green skin, dark clothing, dark magic.
and an affinity for princesses

Yuga is a person who looks like Ganondorf, but is extremely effeminate. In fact, I thought Yuga was a girl until I heard otherwise. But this isn't the issue, the issue I have is with her ability. She turns people into paintings... that's stupid. Oddly and cliche' enough, she turns Link into a painting, and the bracelet that you got earlier in the game just happens to be the bracelet that allows you to control that ability. Using this newfound ability, you can travel between the light and... oh wait.. Hyrule and "lo-rule" (smart one there, Nintendo) using conveniently placed cracks in the wall, which you can only get to if you have the power you're not supposed to have. It's a nice concept but... Lorule? Really?

I have to admit though, the concept is widely overused already in Zelda. You have:

1. Skyloft and The Surface from Skward Sword
2. The Minish World and The Human World from Minish Cap
3. The Dark World and The Light World from A Link to the Past
4. The Twilight Realm and the Light World from Twilight Princess
5. The Past and the Present from Oracle of Ages
6. The Future and the Present from Ocarina of Time

And apart from the first two, the last 4 on this list has two worlds that are identical to each other, just one is in a land of darkness, and one is in a land of light. And that is not including Oracle of Season's 4 different altering world maps. So although ALBW seems to pull it off well, the concept is already pretty overused. Especially without the topic of paintings coming into play.

Ugh, that's one thing I hated about the storyline of Okami as well, "Drawing shapes with a Wii-mote? Now needed for EVERY aspect of the game!" The same thing with the painting ability, it is used in too many aspects of the game. In Twilight Princess, you traveled around as the wolf, and got through many aspects of the game with it, but you didn't use that in EVERY level, and wasn't needed to get most of the secrets. The same thing with Skyward Sword, the bird was useful, but not dominant in the game.

Conclusion:

It, like all Zelda's before it, is a very fun and fascinating game. It retains, if not simply builds upon, the hack and slash adventure genre that makes up the Zelda franchise.

Despite being easy, it is very fun, and gives a lot to the player. Although it does not give too much to the player, because conflicts are resolved rather quickly, and the game only took me about 10 hours to beat, and I even got some extra's, including heart pieces, and a fully tempered sword. So it's not a very long game.

I personally would not give this game a 10/10. But since it was a good play, is in the Zelda franchise, and was pretty challenging, I'd give it an 8/10. It had lots of drawbacks, but all in all was a very good game.

6 Things you Should Never Say to a Gamer

6. "Just go in the next room, fight that enemy! Ooh, there is a boss coming up"

Oh My GOD, shut up! Nothing worse than a backseat gamer. Let me play the fucking game!

I hate it when people tell me everything that happens, had happened, and is going to happen. 

5. "I'm a gamer" "Really? What's your score on Black Ops?"

That thing where you play mainly single-player games like Zelda, Final Fantasy, or Castlevania, and you suddenly feel like an outsider because everyone else in the world correlates gaming with competitive games like League of Legends, Call of Duty, and other competitive, online, multiplayer games.

I'm a gamer, I just play more solitary games, 

4.  Psssh, Girls don't play games!

I used to believe this as a child myself. Saying that girls obviously didn't play games, and the only reason i did was because I had 3 older brothers. But I soon learned that many gamers are in fact female. Probably not the 50% that is portrayed, but many gamers are in fact girls. Like me for instance.

3. "Oops... I broke it..."

You WHAT!? .... *takes deep breath and holds back urge to rip skin off of person who just broke your game/game system/controller*

Those dreaded words when someone breaks a game that you loved so much. You can't do anything about it, but the blame game goes on. 

2.  You're too OLD to be playing videogames.

People who say this are people who consider videogames to be some form of childrens sport, and that adults need to be doing more productive things, like working a 9-5 job, and filling out tax forms.

This goes hand in hand with the "You'll never get laid" saying, in which people believe that gamers do nothing more than sit on their butt all day and don't do anything at all with their lives, which simply isn't true for most cases. It IS possible to make a decent living off of gaming channels and writings. 

1. Oh, you're at the boss? Just pause the game and take out the trash

EVERYONE is who not a devoted gamer will not understand the issue here. You're at a boss, pausing in the middle will throw you off, and make you more likely to lose. Losing is bad. So deminishing you chance of winning by sidetracking yourself is bad. 

Most gamers have an understanding, when I am at a boss, back the fuck up.

Some of my Favorite Castlevania Bosses

They do not forgive
They do not forget

Legion: This boss came as a big shock to me when I first started to play the Castlevania series. I guess I should have expected it, but hey, I was a noob! This boss is comprised of a central core surrounded by a giant shield of naked corpses. How cool is that!?

It's kinda like a zombie apocalypse when fighting this boss. It sends corpses out to kill you, either one by one, or in a giant horde. This boss isn't really hard though, all you do is hack at the bodies until the core is exposed and then just slice away at that. But I have to admit, it is pretty awesome.

HeadHunter(ess?): This boss brought back a little nostagia. It is based off of Princess Langwidere  from the book Ozma of Oz, or the movie Return to Oz.

In that book, a princess has the ability to change her head, instead of chaging her clothing. In the book, she actually decides that she wants to add Dorothy's head to her collection... which makes you wonder if she wanted Soma's head in the game.

Fake Trio: This was pretty cool when I saw it in SOTN. Duplicates of Simon and the others that you have to kill for no legitimate reason? Awesome! It's even more so because their sprites are still in the graphics of the previous game.

This was definitely a blast from the past, especially because the characters you are defeating are actually the main characters of the previous games.

I have only played a few of the games though, so if there are any more awesome bosses, I will definitely add them to this list. 

Sims 3 Quckie Review

I remember playing the original Sims a loooong time ago. And besides the graphics, that is all that seems to have changed. You start off as a character of your creation, and you either buy a house or a plot of land, and work it from there.

You can earn money in other ways, such as painting, and prizes, but for the most part, you have to get a job to get quick and easy money. But as a result, that takes away a certain amount of your precious time each day. And time is fast as fuck in this game. Taking a bath? That takes an hour and a half. Gotta pee? 30 minute pee. sleeping? about 10 hours. Your Sims age as well, and can even die in this game, so every second really does count. And in this game, it does not feel as if you have much time at all to get things accomplished.

It is also kind of boring after awhile. The initial appeal is ok, but there is nothing to hook you into staying full term. At least, not unless this game really captivates you... and I don't see that happening with very many people.

This is only a blub though, I was not interested enough to play it for any more than 3 hours. But if you are interested in it, play it. I got this one from an Humble Bundle Origin a loong time ago.

Dust: An Elysian Tail

I wrote a First Thoughts on this game, which you can view HERE. But for some reason, despite the fact that I bought this game over 2 months ago, I haven't beaten it until now. I only played it a grand total of 3 times, and each time I played doe several hours each, topping out, according to Steam, at over 17 hours. Which means that if you don't go around trying to find every treasure, you can probably beat this game in 10-12 hours. It's short, but good.

Oh my god, this is one of the deepest games I have played since To The Moon. The storyline is awesome, the gameplay is fantastic, and furries!!!

This game actually started off as a movie. The design, the work, the game, the animations, everything, is almost all done by a single person's over 3 year long game creation process. Which is a LOT to say, saying that the graphics, animation, and story, are all beautifully made. The controls are easy to use, granted with my controller, I had a few issues. Mainly due to the fact that the controllers rumble triggered buttons to be pressed ^^;.

The story line is incredibly sad in many areas, and goes along with the opening theme, which is very somber. I have teared up in many areas, because as a game about war and death, you wouldn't expect much else. Your sidekick Fidget, the equivalent of Navi from Zelda, is hilarious, and brings the much needed humor to this sad tale.

It's a hack and slash game, which means that you will mostly be cutting away at monsters and walls. It's also a 2d side-scroller, which makes the best kind of games in my opinion. So you jump, slice, and drop your way through every level.

I'd definitely recommend this game to any RPG and Hack-and -Slash gaming fan.

Magicka Review

This game, despite what I initially thought, is not that much like Hammerwatch. It's has humor, characters from other well-known games, and you get to shock and burn villagers to death with no repercussions.

You have these spells, and you are able to mix and match to form different spells. From an attack with a single element to an attack with multiple elements. You can make fire lightening, and Healing fire, which heals you and burn you at the same time! You can charge your attacks and use them on others, or you can use them on yourself. You can murder yourself with a giant boulder if you are not careful. I have... done that twice now... And if you want to use no spells, you can use your staff to blast back enemies, OR you can use your mutherfukin gun!

You are a wizard, simply a wizard. no other classes, but you can change your robe type and robe color. It is 100% co-op compatible, and you can play in many different ways, from adventure, to saving other wizards trapped in a castle, to versus mode. Up to 4 people can play at one time.

You use your spells to help get through parts that will otherwise kill you. Like freezing water, and burning torches. This way, this game is a lot more puzzle based, and allows for at least a mild amount of thinking. You can't yet use your controller to play though, so it's entirely keyboard and mouse for now.

It's pretty awesome ^^ albeit a little (bad pun incoming) cheesy. The humor can be pretty bad at points, and the fact that Navi from OoT is following you around yelling Hey! Listen! every minute spouting useless information, it does have it's moments. But all-in-all. It's a pretty awesome game!

Odd Planet Review

Odd planet is a pretty weird game. In fact, it is basically a cop-out version of Limbo. Granted that this game does give credit to Limbo as a reference for their game, I still think that it is basically the same. You die the same way, but you don't think as much. In Limbo, you pull levers and activate traps, but in OP you only push some things, but mainly don't do much else. You jump, you collect some items, but the same is very short.

The fact that it has an "Episode 1" means that this is not the only game in the series to come out. But the gameplay is only about 20 minutes, and the ending drops off at a cliffhanger. She writes a letter, you see her face, ending. So many unanswered questions, and the game is too easy.

You can die tons of times, you have no life meter. This game, like Limbo, gives you tons of time to die to you can learn the right way to get past a part. This is a pretty fun part, but it can make one cocky. There are no repercussions to dying, so... why be careful?

While I think this game can be MUCH better, it isn't horrible. Mainly becaise Limbo wasn't terrible. But it will always be a cop-out version, in my opinion.

Papers please review

In Soviet Russia, game plays you. This and many other words including, but not limited to "Fuck", is how one would describe Papers Please.

Staplers Please is an indie game available on Steam made by some Russian guys rushing to make an extremely Russian game about a man rushing to save his family, rushing through his job making decisions in a rush. In Russia.\

Here is a picture of Rush

A friend of mine asked me what I would classify this game as. I almost said "Puzzle" but that would make me a liar. Really I'd can't call it any genre. There's terrorism and explosions, suicide bombers, human traficking rings, drug peddlers, corrupt businessmen, so I could call it an adventure right? Well, as exciting as this sounds, it's all going on in the background and has little to almost nothing to do with you directly. You basically sit at the border gate and read passports and either accept or deny people like some kind of existential deity with a depressing life. 

The best way to describe it is a paperwork em up. But you can also have family members die if you don't pay for food or medicine or to not be blown up by a terrorist. So a depression em up? 

Despite what I said, Eat Your Peas is quite the immersive game. The paperwork and checking for discrepencies and sending them to their deaths to look after you and yours leaves you with a sense of guilt that keeps you coming back for more, because you like that, don't you bitch?

I highly recommend The Seven Seas, because not only is it immersive and the gameplay makes you feel like Sherlock Holmes, the story going on around you is very interesting, full of intrigue and mystery and lots and lots of prostitution. Like Russia itself. (Not racist)

Recettear Demo Review

Recettear starts off as a pretty mild game. Your dad is gone off on an adventure and left you, a very young child, alone to fend for yourself. Instead of calling the social services, the town sends a fairy that tells you that your dad had a loan that he has to pay back, and since he is not present, the young child would have to pay it back for him.

Being a child, you have no clue how to do this. But then the fairy has an idea. Turn your house into an item shop, and sell random wares for money. You have to save up money in the coming weeks or you will not be able to make rent, and your house will be seized as collateral for the debt.... fun.

But this game is not ALL business. You can hire adventurers to do quests and obtain items for you, risking their lives, and you can then sell your items for money to help you buy merchandise, and pay back the ever increasing monthly debt. Things get harder as you go, with competition, and Capitalism, ho!!! It's like what would happen if you mixed Harvest Moon with Chantelise.

So, for this game, I'll give it a yayification.

FEZ Review

This game is pretty awesome, but in a creepily weird way.

The game starts off as a 2d game. Pretty simple, right? You climb up to the top of a cliff, easy enough. You find this cube, and then it breaks! The whole game glitches up, and then you finally have the power to shift the screen. It's awesome... but... The game is still played as a 2d game... but you can shift things around in a 3d environment? Is it 2.5d? Ehhh....

The game is basically a puzzle game. You go around, climbing, shifting the screen, and jumping your way to finding all the blocks required to fix the big block and prevent the world from being destroyed. This game comes complete with secret treasures, treasure maps, and creepy. But even then, it can become bland after a bit of playing. You do nothing else this entire game.

This has to be the creepiest room in the whole game.

The sprite being simply a white blob is one of the major characteristics of this game. You're bland, and you have to go on this whole mission to collect all the block parts. The animations of this game are pretty awesome though, not half bad idea for a game as a whole.

This game would probably be a lot better if it included more work involved. But hey, for a puzzle adventure game, it's not really all that bad. I'd recommend it if you like puzzle adventure games.

Chantelise Review

This is the first ever game I really got into on Steam. I didn't think it was going to be all too good, but I was wrong.

You start off the story as a young girl named Elise, with her sister/partner named Chante.... Chante Elise... Chantelise. Despite the fact that the name of this game is...mediocre at best... I cannot deny that this game's name is in fact catchy. You are trying to find a witch because she apparently turned your sister into a fairy. That's basically the whole premise of the game, find this witch, and have her change Chante back to normal.

You have a blade, and your partner has magic. This game is a hack and slash game that allows you to use many skills to your advantage. But while this game is awesome, it is not an adventure game. It is very linear and the only secrets are hidden in every single room. The gameplay is pretty smooth, and the controls are easy enough to grasp.


The enemies when you first start out are very easy, and drop a lot of magic and gold. But as you get farther, the enemies get much, much harder, and many become hard to defeat without a particular type of magic. If you can lure an enemy off a ledge to it's death, the better off you'll be.

You can defeat enemies easier, and defend yourself more against magical or physical attacks, by equipping certain items. Many of which you can buy from the store, while others you can find in hidden chests along the way. This game has a LOT of room for error. When you die (and you WILL die), you keep all your money, so you can spend it on new armor and health upgrades. Which will make it so that you ca travel further before you die the next time.

All-in-all, this game is pretty appealing, and highly addictive. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to play a more casual game.

Hammerwatch Review

What this game has to do with hammers, I have no idea. But it's fricken fun as hell!

You start off as either a paladin, wizard, warlock, or archer. A bridge breaks behind you and the main purpose is to find a way to escape. You fight monsters and huge friggen hard as hell bosses! You can do this with your attacks and skills, which you can upgrade with traders along the map. You learn combo's, increase defense and offense, and even buy more lives. Each upgrade makes your gameplay experience just a little smoother.

These guys are fricken annoying!

This is a hack and slash game, and basically, that's all you do. Hack, and slash. I usually play as a wizard or archer, because they are ranged, and use my skills and attacks to annihilate hordes of enemies. Try not to die though, because if you run out of lives, you have to start all the way from the beginning of the whole game!

You can play this game either with the keyboard, or a controller. Personally, I suggest investing in a Sixaxis paired with Motoninjoy, that way I am able to play like it's a real game. It also runs so much smoother on a controller as well. And the best part is, it's multiplayer! You get to play with up to 4 of your friends, or just random people, and play to your hearts content.

Now this game didn't have the best launch. The Multiplay still to this day has bugs, but once you do get it to work, it works wonderfully. All characters in game share the same number of lives. so if you only have 8 lives, and your partner dies 7 times, you need a new partner.

I would suggest this game to anybody who is interested in playing. I personally spend several hours playing this game when i get the chance. So if you like it, it'd be addicting.

Castlevania 3 First Thoughs

The first thing I think about when I play this game, is Symphony of the Night. This game, unlike the first two, has a very good system going for it, including items. The level designs and basically ALL of the monsters are exactly like SOTN. Of course, with notable differences. Castlevania 3 has a time limit, and no item equip screen. Which sucks, but oh well.

The jumping mechanism is kinda difficult, and you cannot fall from one floor to one below you, you simply die. Try to jump on a platform and miss? Death! The game in and of itself is pretty difficult. If you don't have the proper skills. you are going to die. There is barely a learning curb.

Imma try to finish this game before I make a full review. So look forward to it.

Path of Exile: First Thoughts

Path of Exile is a free to play game (in which you can buy stuff in it) that is actually pretty fun! You pick your character, which can be an archer, a thief, or a witch, etc, and you go through this land of exile. You are here for a specific crime you have committed, and you earn your rep on this island by destroying enemies that get steadily harder the farther you go.

I picked the witch, because I love magic and ranged attacks. She seems a little OP at the moment, and I am leveling up like it's no one's business. The one thing I don't like in this game. Is that your inventory is small. Oh, and you get to sell your armor for scraps of paper and orb shards. Fuck currency. So while you are adventuring, it is also most useless to even pick up items.

Also, your potions refill themselves as you fight enemies, and if you equip it, you also have a forcefield.  Ah, who the fuck needs to think while playing these kinds of games? Click ALL the time! No, really, all you really have to do is click the mouse, and if you need to heal, press 1. Everything else is basically pointless. Alt allows you to see all the items as they appear on the ground. Items you question why you are picking up in the first place, saying the shops don't sell anything of use.

It could just be my inexperience though. I am not all too far into the game. And although it's fun, I honestly don't know how much further I am going to play it. I recommend that you try it out though.  It's a lot better with a buddy.

Games not meant for the DS?

Look at that completely usable bottom screen!

There are some games, like SolatoRobo, which is a game designated for the DS, but uses none of the features of the DS. This is not uncommon either, as fairly many games have started this trend. But why?

It seems to me like a way of earning more money for a game, without using any of the features that the console has for it. It's a cheap and petty way to earn more money for a game that could be so much better, or so much different, with the stylus.

Zelda used all the possible features
that the DS had to offer

Pokemon and Zelda are games that incorporated the touch-screen very well, and through that had some pretty unique gameplay. In Zelda's case, the stylus-based movements are what paved for way for the Wii's motion controls. It bettered the games and made it fun, and dangerous all at the same time (*swings Wii-mote and shatters brand new flatscreen TV*).

But if a game is going to be made without any real use for the second screen at all, then why allow it to be published on the DS, and not, say, the PSP, or the GBA? It would make more sense for a game like Castlevania Dawn of Sorrows to be made into a GBA game. Adding crappy implementation of the touch-screen is just as bad.

Okami is a game designed around this touch-screen concept, and would be a great addition to the DS, because it uses the touch-screen all the time! It is actually the main basis of the game. Why can't other games do that? And if you are not going to implement any groundbreaking touch-screen semantics to the gameplay, then why the DS at all?

Unpopular opinions: The death of Brian Griffin.

Let me start this list off by making this statement, and getting it clear from the get go: I fucking hate Family Guy. And Seth Mcfarlane. And Brain Griff- you know what? The whole damn cast. The show hasn't been funny since (Arguably, mind you) the 4th season, and even halfway through that I stopped watching it. I'm serious. Not a single episode. So when one of my friends told me Brian died, I wasn't the least bit shocked, seeing how Seth Mc-Goddamn-Farlane has the writing talent of Andrew Lloyd Weber, with all of his fingers replaced with thumbs.

God I just want to punch him and never stop. 

Ok, that's out of the way. The reason I am making this article in between lining up my sights at Seth's stupid fucking face (No! Bad Alex! Stay on topic!) is because a lot of people I know who still watch Family Guy for SOME REASON, say that it's a shit move for him to do. I don't know why this particular moment is the straw that broke the camels back, when all the other straws were jumping up and down on a dead camel, but I digress. 

I think killing of Brain Griffin is the best choice. Because not only does Seth not have a mouthpiece to spew his stupid fucking BULLSHIT (Ok sorry, sorry) but also, because this would be the perfect end to show that should've ended. This is the problem most shows have: They run on too long. Spongebob, Fairly odd parents, The Simpsons, Motherfucking Family Guy, The Cleveland show (which should've never existed in the first place) and only a few shows can get away with running on for a long time. Futurama (arguably) and Law and Order: SVU. 

Family Guy is DONE. It's been done for a long time, and it needs to be over. Do I believe it will end since Brian died? No. Seth McFarlane is too much of  douche for that.

 Oh GOD I WANT TO HIT YOU!

But this isn't the final straw. This camel has been dead for a while, and Seth keeps expecting it to carry more straws. This show has far reached the point where it was supposed to end. This death isn't a shock, it's just desperate and stupid. 

I await your hate mail with bells on my toes. 

Black Tiger Review

Yes it does, yes, it, does. ;3

Oh My GOD! Wtf is this?! This game is pretty difficult, and I have a hard time understanding it at all. You jump, but you can barely control the jumps. I wound up falling into the same put 7 times while playing because I could not stop or slow down my jumps.

There are people that you save, and they either give you coins, or time. Idk what the coins are used for. Not the stone arrows, but no time to think about that! There is a fucking 2 minute timer to get to... place!You fight these baddies that take a long time to kill, and you are going to die in this game... a LOT!

But don't worry, if you suck as bad as I do, there is a surefire solution to that. Sissy Mode! I-I mean, "casual mode." Which I had to start playing just to find out what the hell was going on.

There are some old men that you save that start to sell you stuff. I save their life, and they are like "Sorry, still gotta pay up!" Nice old people, gotta love em.

The gameplay is basically you going through this castle, killing all these monsters, and dragons, with throwing knives and a whip. The sidescrolling hack and slash portion of this game reminds me a lot of Castlevania, with some Contra added in. Some parts will leave you upset, because as you get farther into the game, some platforms are nearly impossible to jump on. If it wern't for casual mode, I may not have even beaten this game. But don't let it fool you, even casual mode is pretty damn hard.

Who are you, Mystery Woman!?!?

In the end, you see him posing with a beautiful maiden. One that is never before mentioned or implied to in the game. But hey, it's an old arcade game, wha'd you expect?