Have Stopped Writing Here

NEW BLOG HERE!!!

Hiya, It has been a wonderful time, but Blogger is just not doing it for me anymore. Most of my views are from bots, the site is basically dead, I never get very many responses at all, and it is just time to move on. My review blog is literally the only one I had left on Blogger, whereas I removed or relocated all of my other blogs to Wordpress, which is what I am using now.

So if you are still interested in viewing my reviews, please meander on over to my new blog Raccoon Reviews. 

Theories of Relativity Book Review

This book was a pretty fascinating read. It's about a boy who gets kicked out of his home and finds a life on the street, where he dodges thugs and the cops while stealing and begging for change to get by. Winter is on its way and he is hungry and cold.

It's a story of broken families, abuse, and living on the streets as a young teen. Drugs, booze, hookers, shelters, good sameritans, the whole 9 yards. I am not going to ruin anything, but I have to say that this book was wonderful

However, I do have a few criticisms of it. It is very vague. things just happen, and sometimes from one chapter to another you are not entirely sure what happened. It feels like a DVD skipped over some details at times. The ending feels kind of rushed, with a huge scene near the end that involves Einstein that seems a bit out of place.

Aside from that the characters are very stereotypical. Which is probably what the authors were trying to portray, because at the end of the book in the authors notes, they do talk about this motivation for writing the book. The thing is though, some characters, like Twitch, or the father, are overly stereotyped. It just kinda felt as if it dulled the story. Some of the situations seemed a bit rushed and highly stereotyped as well.

But aside from some minor flaws, this story is pretty good. The main protagonist boy is smart, and has a very good heart, and life is just shitting all over him as he tries to learn how to deal with it and succeed.

And this story did portray what it was supposed to portray. There are many homeless teens who were either kicked out or ran away at a young age to avoid violence and abuse at home. Many of these people turn to drugs to dull the pain, once hooked they fall into stealing, prostitution, and begging to get enough money to even eat. Putting themselves in dangerous situations just to find a decent place to sleep and clean up, usually doing such in libraries and fast food restaurants. They are generally dirty, have no degree, and have no address, and therefore cannot get a job. They can usually get in trouble with street gangs, drug dealers, and pimps.

So for a book trying to bring attention to the issues street kids face, it definitly did its job. It's an excellent book, the storyline is pretty awesome, definitely a page-turner in my opinion. And that is saying something, because it usually takes me MUCH longer to finish a book.

Splenda Review

Now I usually don't do a lot of reviews on food, as I am not that good at food reviews. I usually just stick to videogames, TV shows, and books (Although it is not as if I never reviewed edible items before). But today I am going to go a little out of my way, because I have started to eliminate sugar in my diet and replacing it with this stuff.

First of all, what is Splenda? Splenda is made from about 5% Sucralose and 95% Maltodextrin and Dextrose. Meaning it has a whopping 3.35 calories a packet. I am not going to go into that hellhole of conspiracy idiocy on whether or not artificial sweeteners are good or bad for you. I don't conform to the fear-mongering that anything not natural is automatically bad for you. But I'll leave to politics to my other blog.

Splenda tastes a lot like sugar. Not exactly, but very similar. As I was trying to decide which product to use as a calorie free sweetener, I also tried Sweet n Low and Stevia. Both tastes... kinda bad. But Splenda was the only one that didn't taste bad, and actually tasted decently good. It did not leave that bitter aftertaste in my mouth and actually sweetened my tea and coffee instead of making it taste like crap.

Now don't get me wrong, Splenda is not perfect. I am still getting used the to taste of it in coffee, as it makes my coffee taste awkwardly not sweet the same way it makes my tea taste good. Not that it tastes bad, but it's not sugar. But as a sugar replacement, it tastes fairly good.

I still need to try Equal, as I heard that is good too, but I will save that for later. Maybe edit this post when I do.

ThisIsSand?

Thisissand.com is a excellent site for people who are interested in a new take on Microsoft Paint. When you first start out, the colors are random, but by simply pressing C on the keyboard, you can choose any color you desire. Pastel, earth tones, etc.

Is it fun? No. Is it interesting? Yeah. This is yet another medium one can use to express themselves, and there have been quite a number of artworks that people have made with this that I find pretty awesome.

If you doubleclick the mouse, you can use the sand continuously. You know, in case your index finger gets tired of holding down the left mouse button.

This game is also available for the Iphone, I can't test it out to see if it is as good as the internet version, saying that I don't have an Iphone. But I do recommend this. It is free, and certainly gives you something to do if you are bored out of your mind.

Art.

You Have To Win The Game

This game has no background music, which is good, as it will probably piss you off more. As it already pisses you off as much as Eryi's Action. There seems to be a lot of games where the main goal is to kill you every chance you get. It's not much of a puzzle game, just a don't die game. You know, like The impossible Game, that god-forsaken rage-quit creating blip on the gaming world.

The setting is pretty nice, as it actually looks as if you are playing the game through a badly rendered version of an old-school TV set. You can't expect too much from this game though, as it is a Free To Play game on Steam.

There really isn't much else to say about this game, because all you do is jump, and try not to hit spikes, bats, etc. The game itself is just frustrating, scarcely fun at all unless you are one of those people who completely love tossing your computer out the second story window of an apartment complex.

The games color scheme is pretty nice. It has pink, blue, black, and white. So retro. Aside from that I can't really recommend this game. But hell, it's free, break a leg... or a computer monitor.

Vertical Drop Hero's HD

If you are a fan of the all wonderful Rogue Legacy, than you will enjoy Vertical Drop Heros. They are pretty much the same game. The main role of the game is to choose between 3 choices of hero with varying different abilities, and fight an army of monsters to get gold, which you can use for upgrades to health, money, and strength for future heros after this one has died. And trust me, this hero will die. a lot!

The main differences is that while Rogue Legacy is a lot like Castlevania, Vertical Drop Heros doesn't have different rooms. On the bottom of every map is a main boss. Defeat it and it will open the door to a portal that will take you to the top of the next map. Each map getting increasingly difficult, but filled with better rewards.

You get to keep all of your money when you die, so make sure to use it sparingly. Because that money is going to be the difference between life and death. Obtaining green crystals will even allow you to skip a level, which has you miss out on valuable money, but allows you to go straight to the larger rewards and harder enemies for more of a challenge.

One of the most promising features of this game is it's multiplayer function, in where you can play this game with a friend.either online, or split screen. Which is one thing I would have liked out of Rogue Legacy. Which makes this game kinda like Mercenary Kings as well.

I recommend this game to all people who like games like Castlevania and Rogue Legacy.

Great Mashup

Just listen to the awesomeness, and you will see why I enjoy it. This is one of the best mashups I have ever heard.

Cosmos: Episode 1 review

Now I watch documentaries and stuff all the time. So I am not new whatsoever to documentaries, and lectures, etc. But for some reason I didn't jump at the chance to watch Cosmos as soon as it came out. I guess I was just busy, or just simply uninterested, but I heard so much hype about the show, both from fans of the show and the creationists who hate science and are upset that Cosmos doesn't mention their deity in it, that I HAD to watch at least one episode.

And holy shit >_> this show is magnificent! For everyone who has even the slightest love of science will love this show. The first episode talked about the history of our cosmos all the way to present day earth. If the timeline of the cosmos was compressed to the size of a calendar year, all of recorded human history would have taken place in the last minute, of the last day of the year.

The whole grand scale of the universe itself is mindboggling, as our earth is less significant in the grand scheme of things than 30C in homeopathy is significant in modern medicine. A single drop of medicine in an ocean of water is more significant than our little speck of dust in all the universe.

I will leave our the science for now, I am a science nerd, but I don't want to post all of my nerdiness into my review of Cosmos. The graphics of this series is simply astounding. We take glimpses of the entire universe and the more I watch, the more amazing it is. Sorry, I guess my love of science is making me a bit biased.

You can actually watch Cosmos for free if you want (lots of ads though, but meh) on their website. Make your own opinion.

I Apologize

I am sorry I have not been making that many reviews lately. Not only have I been busy with many other tasks, writing, research, etc for numerous other blog posts, I also have not been playing that many games lately.

But rest assured dear audience, I am not leaving you in the dust. I am reading Mogworld, playing Tales of the Abyss, Mercenary Kings, The Last Remnant, A demo for Last Dream, and will soon write a review for the recently completed Evoland and Left 4 Dead 2. So once i am done I will try to have reviews for all of those. It may take me awhile though, so in the mean time, I apologize for the delay.

So much work to do, so little time.

Eternal Sonata Demo

Hiya everyone! Lucy back again with another review! This time, I am reviewing a demo!

Eternal Sonata is a pretty interesting game. I really have no clue what it is about from the Demo though. The demo only really showed the battle system and a couple of the characters. This demo is also only available on the 360, I have tried and failed to find it on the PS3, which is the system I plan to buy it for.

The battle system is pretty awesome. It is like a cross between Ys 's hack and slash battle system and Atelier Iris 2 's turn based battle system. Which makes it pretty fun. You basically run up to monsters and hack at them until you earned enough power to do a special attack, which takes about 8 stars, I believe.

You have encounters when you touch and enemy, and you also get gold and experience when you beat them. Leveling up seems pretty decent, even if your HP meter seems a bit too inflated.

All in all, if anything, I suggest that you try out this demo. It's on the 360. If anything, you may be able to find a let's play, but it feels much different when you have the controller in-hand.

Lucy's Latest Addiction: Ys: Origins

Hiya all! Lucy here for another addiction update! Ys: Origins. I bought this game a few days ago, and thus far, I have beaten it. This has been my latest addiction! it's definitely a hack and slash, and I feel like beating myself up for not buying this game or many others in the Ys series sooner, as these games are fun as all fuck.

Now to start off, you can either pick between two characters, Yunica Tovah or Hugo Fact. Both of whom are pretty fun, Hugo is a ranged magic user, and Yunica is a fast axe wielder. To start off I went with Yunica, which is, to date, the only character I beat the game with. I won't ruin any of the story-plot, but it is all pretty personal to the main character. But the three storlines are not interchangeable, it is as if all three happened in parallel universes. Which makes sense, but if Yunicas story is true, neither Hugos or Toals storyline is, and the same with the other two. Makes the game interesting enough.

The game is a hack-and-slash, meaning that you have one button for attack, another for skills, one for jumping, and the last for Boost. it's all fairly typical of hack and slash games like Devil-may-cry and Zenonia. You attack demons, and kill them for experience and SP, which you can trade in for equipment boosts and the like. You also find Cleria Ore to strengthen your weapons, and find new equipment as you go.

The leveling system is odd, as it is REALLY hard to get past level 50 in the game. The higher your level is, the lower the amount of experience you receive from the same monsters, which makes leveling really difficult as time goes on, even with the games built in 2x experience boost during battle. Also, the power system is also really jumpy. If you cannot beat a boss at level 50, chances are, you can cream them at level 51. The power boost between levels 50 and 51, or 28 and 29, etc, are so huge that it'd shock you. Some monsters I could only do 1 damage to. I got a Cleria power-up for my weapon, I was able to do 27-40 damage, and that is only a 5 point strength boost.

I think I beat the last boss at level 51, I can no longer check that because the moron who is me accidentally saved over it when I unlocked Toal as a playable character, but as evidence that i did in fact beat the game:

Toal, bitches!

But I totally suggest to anybody to check out this game. I have barely been able to put it down, like, literally. Thus far I have clocked in at 18 hours of gameplay, and going. A couple of those hours has been me playing as Hugo and Toal.

You can buy this game off of Steam for about 20$, and it's a pretty good price for the fun you'll receive. I definitely recommend this game

EDIT:

I totally forgot, there is one more piece of evidence that I beat the game:

Achievements :-3

Lucy's Latest Addiction: Rogue Legacy

It took almost half my health to get this screenshot, you better be fucking grateful

OH. MY. GOD! Rogue Legacy is so much like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night in so many ways that it just isn't  funny. You start off choosing your character. Each character has some array of disorder about them. Be it gigantism, dwarfism, the inability to cast spells properly, knocking enemies back further, or being knocked back further yourself, etc, etc, etc.

On top of that, you have several different classes, from paladin, to knave, to mage, etc. Each class has different strengths and weaknesses. Mages have less HP and higher Mana, Shinobi's are powerful and fast, and Spelunki's are not all too powerful, but allow you to get 3 more gold per gold coin and allows you to see where every chest and mystery is on the map before you reach the room.

Haters gonna hate

 Now, you can offset these weaknesses with a high enough power boost from the Manor, which is a place where you can unlock new classes, raise attack power, defense, Mana, HP, critical chance, etc. And if that wasn't enough, you can also find blueprints in the castle to upgrade your armor and weapons, and not just blueprints, but runes as well to heighten the upgrades and give specified abilities. Weapons and armor raises your magic, attack, and armor, etc, and may also come with secondary abilities, like increased gold gain. You can also attach runes as well, which can give you abilities such as double jump (SOTN), side dash (SOTN), vampirism (heals a small amount per enemy), and increased gold gain. These can even be stacked. You can have multiple jumps, or higher vamprism.

You start off in the first room, which has some candles and a chair which you can destroy and find gold and food under. This game has no save points, and trust me, you WILL die. A LOT. Dying is not only inevitable, but necessary for progress. You only level up and are able to spend your money when you die. Once you go into the castle, there is no turning back. In fact, dying 20 times gets you an achievement in Steam. This game also has no healing areas. If you don't have vamprism, your only hope is you smash a pot that may possibly have chicken in it.

Money is a commodity, each time you enter the castle, the Charon will take away all of your money. Although later on you can lower this to 50% of your money, you almost always start off broke. My advice, break EVERYTHING. And kill EVERYTHING.

Might be a little addicted to Rogue Legacy . Just a little

Each room as enemies and objects to destroy. From mages that shoot fire and ice at you, to giant suits of armor, and zombies, and skeletons that shoot arrows or throw bones at you (as I said, a lot like SOTN) Each room is a mystery, and can hold treasures and monsters, and the castle is ALWAYS altering every time you die. So each new life is basically a whole new castle. A dazzling place you never knew.

The objective is to defeat 4 main bosses and open the final door. I only got to beat 2 of the bosses thus far. There are also minibosses you can beat for extra treasures. once you beat a boss, you never have to beat it again, although you can unlock a much harder version of that boss later on.

EDIT:

Just hours after this post:

Oh yeah

EvilQuest

Lucy here, back again for another gaming review. This time we got a very cheap game (like, 2 dollars on Steam) for all to enjoy.

This game kinda reminds me of Ys, but I have heard it is also like a game called Crystalis that I never played.

The graphics kinda... well. They could use some work. Even according to Ys these graphics are bad. The cutscenes by comparison are 50 times worse. I have seen better artistry from children on DA. The dialog and story? The suck turd. But that aside, the gameplay is pretty fun. You run around pressing X to attack enemies, Square for magic spells, Start for the Menu, and Triangle for item usage.

The dialog is one of those things that makes you want to puke. The obvious "I'm a bad guy, time to burn down a village and kill people at random" idiocy. It would be better if he started off as good and turned evil as the game progressed. Maybe he was forced to kill someone, and then he liked it, and then he burned down a village, or something like that. Some kind of trauma in his life to trigger his evilness. But all I see is the Cliche' evil psychopath who yells at people and kicks drunk guys and then kills said drunk people for puking on his shoes.

This game could have been a lot better when it comes to storyline and dialog. But sadly, it isn't. But for what it's worth (2 dollars) it isn't bad.

PETA Parodies: Pokemon Red, White, and Blue

Hiya all! Lucy here for another Pathetic PETA Power Pwn. I thought I made a review of their last game, Pokemon Black and Blue, but I just can't seem to find it.

Now this game is yet another one of PETA's insane tropes to attack an established game series. And guess who else is being attacked? You guessed it! McDonalds! The fast food chain that is still the highest on the ranks despite various attacks against it, including the terrible excuse for a documentary, Supersize Me.

That aside, this game is very little in difference to it's last one. But PETA certainly let their bias show. The McDonalds customer looks like a fat brainless moron, and Ronald McDonald looks like a drunk Joker on crack and speed. Meanwhile, the PETA protesters are cute and adorable, down with the evil corporations! Or else PETA will toss red paint on you again!

This game is covered in blood from the evil McDonalds killing the poor dehorned and slashed Miltank and bitten and starved Jiggly Puff. The message is the same, we animal owners are just mean pathetic slave-holders who are holding the sentient animals hostage, starving them and yanking them around on our leashes.

I have thus came to the conclusion: PETA isn't batshit insane, they are complete and undeniable poes. It's all just an act. Because even insane asylum patients and Republicans are going "those people are crazy."

But I suggest you play it, the puns are terrible, and the gameplay sucks. But it'll give you a few laughs with your facepalms.

Melody's Escape

Hiya folks, Lucy here! Sorry for the long wait between this and the last review, I have been very lazy with my review writing lately, and now I've decided to get back to the writings. at least for a few reviews. The life of a writer is never done.

Now this game reminds me a lot of what I believe would happen if Guitar Hero turned into a platformer. You play as this girl, who's name I would assume is Melody, and you are trying to get from one place to another. This game has no storyline or anything, it is basically just a platformer.

But get this, you pick the music that the levels are based off of. Your level, what buttons you push, and for how long you push them, is determined entirely by your music selection. If you wanted to play this game to Lady Gaga, you can do it! Heaven Metal? You can do it! Justin Beiber? Possible... but... ew.

There are three levels. Relaxed allows you to easily beat levels, but not too easily, the rhythm isn't perfect, so you gonna mess up, a lot. When you first start out, I suggest at least 2 songs on Relaxed. Then Normal is a lot harder. You have to push the right button, at the right time, and it is highly altered. Then you have extreme, which is basically a "your fucked" difficulty.

Besides this, there really isn't much else about the game. You can play it with a controller, and because I choose it, the music selection is wonderful!

I definitely recommend this game. Now hop to the buying! You can get it on Steam for 10$.

Patio Chicken Burrito Review

Hey, Lucy here! I generally don't do reviews on food, but I'll make an exception for this case. 

This burrito only cost me about 44 cents at Walmart, so I bought two chicken flavored ones. I guess I shouldn't expect to get my monies worth for 44 cents, and I didn't. 

The flavor isn't really all that bad, nor is the size of the burrito. But it is filled with a form of chicken flavored goop. There is no physical substance inside of this burrito. No chinks of chicken, no slices of veggies, nothing. Just gunk. 

I really would not recommend this product unless you simply don't like food in general. But if you are going to get any burrito at all, this one is definitely not going to be worth your time and money. 

Why does Jingit Ignore their Users?

Jingit is a site that I started using 2 months ago where you watch ads for money. But they seem to enjoy fucking over their users more than actually helping them out. I have had basically no ads instead of one single ad that I have seen for the past 2 months. They have not added more ads yet despite promising them will. and they simply reject to acknowledge that their customers are leaving them by the hoards because they are experiencing so many issues.

This site is basically a joke in and of itself. i have been earning about a dollar a week on it. Yeah, that is a dollar more than I have been making without them, but for a site that promises ads, they should give ads. They keep saying that are working hard, but so far they have absolutely zip to show for it.  so in what way should I say anyone should use a site that does not uphold it's own promises for ads, and not only that, copy and pastes the same excuses for why it hasn't gotten any yet? I mean, comeon now, I know many sites that are able to fork over ads to a site like Jingit, I just think Jingit has gotten lazy with their ads.

It would be a great site if it upheld it's promises and care about it users. It would be like a competitor for HitBliss, but it isn't because of this idiotcy.

I do not recommend this site. At least not right now. If it stops ignoring it's users, I might recommend it again, until then, nope!

The Videogame Battle System Trinity

From my experiences in videogames, there are 3 different kinds of battle systems. There may be more, and if you want to correct me, that is what the comments section is for. But I can basically round up all the gaming battle systems into one of three catigories:

• Turn-based
• Tactical, or
• Hack-and-slash

I'll start off with my favorite. Hack-and-slash! I love games in where you can charge right into a battle and deal massive damage. Also, jumping, running, slashing, shooting, etc makes these kinds of games highly action packed, and makes them incredibly fun and adrenaline pumping. Games like Zelda, Castlevania, and Devil-May-Cry, fit into this category. I love these games because you are constantly in movement, you don't just sit there and wait for the next move. There is always somewhere to go, and some enemy to try new maneuvers on. 

I guess the downside to this is that if you blindly just hack and slash without any method, you could just kill yourself numerous times and make you want to toss the controller away. 

Next is Turn-based, this is a system I was raised on. Final Fantasy, Atelier Iris, and Breath of Fire, all incorporate a turn-based battle system. It is be highly repetitive after awhile, to the point where you just press the same button over and over to beat the battle quicker. Once you have gone into 1 battle, you have basically been in them all, but the wide array on badguys and skills are what keeps you pushing through the game. Not a bad system in my opinion, but not for people who enjoy more active gaming. 

Now to the greatest demise in gaming (in my opinion), the Tactical Combat System. Any Advance War-esque game where you can only proceed in combat via a select number of squares, is just frustrating for me to play. Games like Eternal Poison, Agarest War Zero, Phantom Brave, etc, fall into this category. The fact that I have to spend the first 4 turns just getting to the enemy in the battle field automatically turns me away from this battle style. 

It's very slow, very repetitive, and usually comes with the most idiotic of battle rules (Eternal Poison gives you a game over if you run out of MP, other games give you a certain number of turns to finish the battle before game over). It's like they tried to make a board game and turn it into a videogame, and I think that is dumb. It may just be my bias, but I really don't see a redeeming factor in tactical battle systems. It's good for for certain people who enjoy them, but it has gotten to the point where I just start refusing to play games outright if they have this battle system.

But that is just my opinion, I am sure there are people out there who enjoy it, and I'd like to hear reasons why down in the comments section.

FAQ

What about FPS's and Fighting games?

FPS games like Call of Duty, fighting games like Skull Girls and Mortal Combat, and other games which require high amounts of action falls into the Hack-and-Slash category. The weapon of choice may be different, but the result and way it goes about is still the same. (Basically any game where one can button mash could be considered a hack-and-slash)

The Silent Protagonist

This has got to be one of the most annoying, yet strangely enticing, aspects of many videogames. It is also highly common as well, with notible mute protagonists such as:

• Link - Every Zelda Ever
• Ryu - All Breath of Fire games
• Chell - Portal
• Adol - Ys (He talks through silence)
• Chrono - Chrono Trigger
• Your main character in Pokemon
• The main character of Dark Cloud
• The main protagonist of Cave Story
• Amaterasu from Okami
• Flint - Alundra 2

Among many, many others. 

But is this Silent Protagonist simply lazy writing? Or Genius?

No one will question that it has worked rather magnificently in the above games. In fact, Link from The Legend of Zelda never talks, but he isn't mute. He grunts, screams, and even has "Yes-no" answer box choices. So why would the writers simply make him without a single word of actual dialog?

Well, arguably, in my case, it certainly helps with being in the role of the main character. With a specified dialog to adhere to, it is simple to hop into the books of someone and even pretend the dialog for yourself. This doesn't always work though, it is rather hit-or-miss, but nobody can deny that it has worked like a charm for the Zelda franchise.

I personally enjoy games in which the main character is silent. Because I'd rather have silence (or near-silence) than shoddy, terrible, voice acting, or else horrid character dialog.

Who is your favorite Mute Protagonist?

Graal Online Classic Review

If you took Zelda A Link to the Past, eliminated the storyline, gave it the worst controls ever, made it an MMORPG, and allowed friendly fire, you have Graal Online Classic.  It's kinda like if Ragnarok Online and Zelda ALTTP had a bastard child and named him Graal. It doesn't help that basically all the sprites on here are simply recolors of the original sprites.

The idea seems decent. You pick your character and then make your way through the tutorial, and then through the world to.... uhhhh... do typical MMORPH stuff. Like quests, purchasing houses and houseware, and buying new outfits and headgear. You get a ton of pop-up messages when you just start the game. It happens every time to do anything for the first 5 minutes of the game and it is really frustrating. "Congrats! You opened the menu" I KNOW!

It does seem to have one redeeming quality, at least in the Android version:

ERMAGERD! I'm a motherferken RERKERN!!!!!

There really isn't much to do in this game. There is a decent amount to explore, I guess. But it just seems to be lacking in various different elements that would have otherwise made this game a very enjoyable experience. Although I can't really say that to it's hundreds of thousands of fans.

For a free game it works ok. Even in the PC version, where I can play using Joy2Key, the controlls are better, but the game play is lacking in several areas. Including the fact that you cannot be a raccoon in the PC version of the game